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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567228">Hostage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandity/pseuds/Bandity'>Bandity</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Body Horror, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insect of unusual size, It's me so someone is going to puke, Langst, Major Character Injury, Medical Procedures, Paralysis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Paralysis, being eaten alive, i will add more tags as i write</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:00:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandity/pseuds/Bandity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While taking a break on a peaceful planet, Lance just wanted to visit their pristine lake. He certainly wasn't planning on meeting any of the planet's aggressive fauna.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>266</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Birthday to Lance! Have some trauma! This fic is not actually finished yet, but I wanted to post the first part for Lance's birthday! This is from a title prompt I received a very long time ago and I'm very happy to finally be able to write it. Please excuse mistakes and enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lance would have preferred a beach for his vacation. But the forests of Paingui 9 were nice too. The trees were huge. Their branches provided the planet with an eternal shade. Sheltered from the sun, the air was cool and the ground was always damp beneath their feet. Naturally, the Painguian people lived in the trees. Some homes were carved out in the great trunks. Entire families all living together, their dwellings spiralling up inside of the trunks. Others built homes in the sturdy branches, with walkways and vines connecting one abode to another in neighboring trees. There was also a crystal clear lake that they had not visited yet, but they were told it was magnificent.</p><p>The Painguian people were tall, birdlike in appearance with short beaks and arms that would seem like thin wings if not for the array of fingers at the ends. Their feathers ranged from light greys to black. Many of them had yellow or orange on their cheeks, which looked a bit like blush from far away. They were friendly and willing to host the paladins as they took a leave on their fine planet.</p><p>“Can we go to the lake now?” Lance didn’t whine. It wasn’t whining, he was just really excited to swim and did they really have to take part in cultural vase making before getting a tour of the lake?</p><p>“Shhh, make your candle holder,” Hunk encouraged with a small grin. He knew Lance was getting antsy, but he knew the wait would pay off. The lake was massive, they had seen it from the ship before they landed. He was sure it would be really fun, but the Painguians were very proud of their pottery and, while they were a kind people, they definitely were strict about the schedule, wanting their guests to experience everything that was important to them in a certain order.</p><p>Lance stared at his lump of clay that was vaguely candle holder shaped.</p><p>“But I suck at this.”</p><p>“Lance.” Shiro this time, using his warning tone. Lance looked over at Shiro’s table, where the man was creating a decorative bowl. It was really nice actually. Shiro was carving designs into the side and not bothering to look up at Lance while he worked. Lance glanced to his other side where Hunk and Pidge were constructing something together. It was about a foot tall…. thing.</p><p>“What are you guys even making?” Lance tilted his head to the side.</p><p>“It’s Voltron!” Hunk motioned to the figure’s arms, as if that made it more obvious.</p><p>“That’s excellent!” Coran called from a table across the room. “Very well done, you two!” Coran turned his own creation so that they could see it. “What do you think?” He asked proudly.</p><p>It looked like a clay recreation of a pancreas with extra holes in it.</p><p>“That’s… great,” Pidge adjusted her glasses. “What is it Coran?”</p><p>“What is it?” Coran put his hand to his chest. “It’s a chuner, of course!”</p><p>“It’s a musical instrument,” Allura clarified from her place at his side.</p><p>“Oh,” several paladins said at once.</p><p>“How do you play it?” Lance asked. Coran pulled at his moustache.</p><p>“I shall show you once it has dried.” Coran looked at Lance’s lump of clay. “And you’ve made… you’ve made a fine satlie holder I see.”</p><p>“I don’t know what that is.” Lance frowned and poked his clay hard enough to make the edge collapse.</p><p>“It’s a candle holder,” Hunk clarified on his behalf. Coran hummed and went back to working with his clay.</p><p>Lance wasn’t too interested in trying to salvage his project, instead, he let his mind wander as he watched everyone else finish up. He peered around Shiro to see that Keith had made himself a tiny vase. It was simple, but it wasn’t falling to the side like Lance’s creation was.</p><p>A few moments later, their guide and instructor, Crail, swept about the room and began explaining their drying process. Their creations would be taken up to the tops of the trees and be left to dry in the beaming midday sun.</p><p>Once they were all collected, Lance bounced over to Crail, smiling.</p><p>“We can go to the lake now, right?”</p><p>Crail’s feathers ruffled and he took a step back, before he smiled at Lance.</p><p>“It’s too hot to visit the lake. We must wait for the sun to lower behind the tallest trees.” Crail turned to the rest of the group. “We invite the paladins to rest until the afternoon meal, I can show you the way to your rooms, if you have forgotten which path you took to come here.”</p><p>Lance wasn’t trying to be rude, but he was wearing swimming trunks under his jeans and he really thought they would be going to the lake after their pottery lesson.</p><p>He suppressed a groan as he followed behind the rest of the group. They had been up early, but were they really expected to take a nap? He wasn’t a toddler.</p><p>As he walked along the narrow wooden bridges, he caught sight of parents entering their homes, carrying their children in their arms. They all did look rather tired. And, now that he thought of it, the tree branches weren’t providing cool shade as much as they were holding in a stifling heat. He could see why the Paingui people spent this part of the day resting in their homes.</p><p>But if it was hot then wouldn’t going for a swim be the best idea?</p><p>Honestly.</p><p>He nonchalantly sidled up besides Hunk. He placed an arm around his friend and pulled him close.</p><p>“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Lance whispered. Hunk, who had gone along with probably too many of Lance’s ideas at the Garrison, frowned.</p><p>“Oh, Lance. Don’t.”</p><p>“You don’t even know what my idea is!” Lance hissed. Pidge was walking in front of them and she slowed down. She was down for a plot if it was interesting.</p><p>“I do know,” Hunk hissed back. “It’s the lake, it’s obviously the lake. You want to go to the lake.”</p><p>“We’d be right back!”</p><p>Pidge tilted her head, weighing whether she wanted to get involved. She burned easily when she was out in the sun and she didn’t want to walk all the way to the lake and back. It was a decent distance and she wasn’t as quick to want to jump into strange water as Lance was.</p><p>Pidge sped up. Decision made. It would be better if she didn’t know all their plans. She needed plausible deniability for when they got caught later.</p><p>She heard Lance whispering loudly and she guessed he was giving Hunk his biggest puppy dog eyes. She caught Hunk’s exasperated ‘fine!’</p><p>She smirked. She knew from experience that Hunk never could resist anyone’s puppy dog eyes.</p><hr/><p>The trek to the lake was long and, as Hunk complained, they wouldn’t even have a lot of time to swim if they wanted to be back before anyone noticed. The air around them was warm and stuffy.</p><p><em>But</em>, Lance reminded himself, <em>the lake will be cold. It’s going to be awesome. </em></p><p>They followed the winding path through the forest, the occasional rustling in the nearby foliage startled them at first, but as the noise continued, Lance and Hunk realized it was some native animals, which were possibly curious, but not set on harming them. They arrived at this conclusion when the gentle rustling continued, but didn’t result in them being attacked. Eventually, they saw a small lizard type creature scurry across their path and dive into the bushes on the other side.</p><p>Lance had left his room in a hurry and neither he nor Hunk had their bayards. Lance picked up a large stick to carry with them. For support. Not because he was worried at all by the noise that sounded along the trail and was definitely just due to the small lizard creatures.</p><p>Lance’s hair was sticking to his forehead and no amount of wiping it away could clear the moisture from his face. Hunk groaned as sweat dripped down his back. He hated that sensation.</p><p><em>Think of the lake. The nice cool lake. </em>Lance shut his eyes, trying to imagine the relief.</p><p>They had been walking for <em>forever </em>and Lance was beginning to think they might have to turn around and head back when he caught sight of their goal. Just around the bend of the trail, the trees gave way and he could see the crystal clear waters gently lapping at the pebble covered shore. Smooth purple, black and blue stones glistened in the sunlight that shone directly overhead.</p><p>Lance’s earlier fatigue was forgotten and he shouted as he ran to the water. He tossed away his shirt, shoes and jeans, revealing his trunks underneath. He could hear Hunk laughing at him as he jumped into the water. Desperately, he dragged his legs forward, going deeper and deeper. When the water hit above his waist, he dove underneath.</p><p>He could feel every inch of his body relax. He had missed this so much. It wasn’t quite the same as the ocean back home, but if he closed his eyes he could imagine it was.</p><p>His lungs burned and he resurfaced, gasping for air and laughing.</p><p>Hunk was standing closer to shore, the water lapping around his ankles.</p><p>“Come on, Hunk!” Lance encouraged.</p><p>“I’m getting used to it!” Hunk motioned to the expanse of water before him. “It’s cold.”</p><p>“Suit yourself!” Lance dove under again. He opened his eyes under water and was amazed at how far he could see. The brightly colored stones littered the bottom of the lake and he was drawn to the way they glittered. He was definitely going to be taking some of these for souvenirs. Lance turned his eyes towards the middle of the lake, on the lookout for any alien fish. They had been told that the lake was safe to swim in, that there was nothing dangerous in the water. He thought he could see something small swimming farther down… wait.</p><p>There were a few small, silver somethings swimming near the top of the lake. They dipped and rose, moving in a school. He watched them as they skimmed the surface and he wondered if they were eating or if they needed to breathe in the air of the planet. Like tiny dolphins or seals.</p><p>It was strange, he almost felt like he could hear them humming through the water.</p><p>One of them fell behind while it swam just underneath the surface, it turned in a quick circle before it lagged after the others. Lance’s lungs were burning and he was about to push himself up, when the alien fish he had been following disappeared from its place. Lance scowled. Where had it gone?</p><p>Lance tried to stay and continue looking, but he really did need some air. He kicked, propelling himself upwards. When he broke the surface he sucked in a large breath.</p><p>He was struck by three things at the same time. The first was that the humming was all around him and it wasn’t so much humming as buzzing. Second, Hunk was shouting his name hysterically. The third thing was a dagger.</p><p>Well, not a dagger, but it struck his right shoulder like one might.</p><p><em>Giant wasps,</em> Lance’s mind registered before he screamed. They were huge and one was hovering directly above him. It was a sleek, deep purple and was at least 4 feet long. Lance didn’t know how long its stinger was, but he felt it again as it jabbed his forearm, which he had raised automatically to defend himself.</p><p>Lance dove into the water, trying to get away. But something was wrong. Instead of diving, he flopped to the side and before he could sink, long, thin, dark legs wrapped around him. They were quick as they plucked him from the water.</p><p>With horror he realized what had happened to the fish he had been watching. Pulled from the water in the blink of an eye and then carried away.</p><p>Pain flared in his arm. Sharp and breathtaking. His vision filled with dark purple and the blur of buzzing wings. He felt air hitting his legs and he knew he was being carried away.</p><p>He tried to struggle, but realized his right arm wouldn't cooperate, it hung uselessly at his side. He frantically kicked out. Trying to angle himself in a way to connect with the wasp's body.</p><p>He felt his knee connect with a solid hit. The legs surrounding him loosened and he thought he was about to be dropped. Instead he was readjusted and then there was an electrifying stabbing in his hip.</p><p>It had stung him a third time.</p><p>His world darkened. Pain and fear took over his senses as he lost his ability to move.</p><p>
  <em>I need help.</em>
</p><p>Lance choked on his screams. Unable to even uselessly cry out.</p><p>His awareness slipped as he fought to breathe through the pain. Buzzing filled his head and reverberated through his chest. He felt like he was being shaken apart on a molecular level.</p><p>And then the legs were gone and he was falling through air. He couldn't even fully register that he had been dropped before he had hit the soft ground. His body hit a slope of mud and he slid down, down, down until he finally rolled to a stop.</p><p>The thick mud around him squelched as he landed on his left side. He blinked hard and tried to spit dirt out of his mouth. From his angle, he could make out vague shapes nestled around him. The light came from somewhere overhead and he realized he had been dropped down a hole in the ground.</p><p>He could hear things hitting the mud around him. More creatures were being dropped down the tunnel. He thought he recognized the fish he had seen earlier landing near his left arm.</p><p>When no further assault came, Lance tried to move. His right arm didn’t respond and if not for the pain, he would have thought it wasn’t even there anymore. His right leg wouldn't budge either and he could feel the pain from his hip radiating outwards through the rest of his body.</p><p>His left arm twitched in response to his desperate attempts to push himself up.</p><p>The stabbing pain made his stomach roll and he actually wished complete numbness had accompanied the sudden paralysis.</p><p>Lance's eyes adjusted slightly to the dark. He was surrounded by round, pale rocks and decaying creatures. But, if he listened closely, he could hear the movement of air. He was surrounded by small lungs, taking in air. They weren't all decaying. Most of these things were still alive.</p><p>Staring, breathing, unmoving, alive and trapped, hostages in their own useless bodies.</p><p>Lance swallowed down the bile creeping up his throat.</p><p>
  <em>What is this? What is this? </em>
</p><p>Some part of him had an idea, but he couldn't process, he couldn't believe…</p><p>One of the pale rocks moved. It shuddered in place before falling still again.</p><p>Eggs. They were eggs.</p><p>Horrible, giant, wasp babies getting ready to hatch.</p><p>Lance could connect the dots. Earth had wasps too after all. He was prey. And though he was alive, he was not able to fight or move. The eggs would hatch and they would be hungry.</p><p>And he was going to be alive for the meal.</p><p>Lance tried his best not to choke when he finally threw up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment and we can celebrate together with the langst.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Surprise for Lance's birthday week! Another update the very next day! I hope you enjoy the chapter. Warning for more graphic descriptions in this one. Thank you everyone who commented last time. I'm glad people were liking it so far.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lance could see the closest egg shifting in the dark. Beyond that, he could see the stirring of other rounded shadows. He couldn’t turn to look but he thought he felt something move against his foot and he knew there were many more than he could see.</p><p>The excruciating pain he felt earlier began to fade away, replaced by a numbness. He could feel pressure, eggs and other paralyzed things nestled against him. That sensation slowly passed as well and Lance was left with breathing, his heart beating and his thoughts churning inside his head.</p><p>He tried to desperately move his left arm, but it only resulted in the limb spasming erratically.</p><p>He thought he should feel cold. He was only in swimming trunks after all and the mud was dark and wet. He should be freezing. Perhaps he was shivering. It certainly felt like he was shaking apart, but maybe that was only his heart skipping beats in his chest.</p><p>Lance's eyes stayed locked on the closest egg he could see. Thankfully, he could still blink, though it took some effort and he was afraid if he closed his eyes, they might just get stuck that way. Then he would be trapped in total darkness. Unable to see, unable to move...</p><p>The cold, the fading light and the imminent destruction overwhelmed his mind. He didn't know how much time had gone by. The burrow grew incredibly dark and he stared into that pit with fear clenching his heart. He just stared and stared, trying to see what was in front of him. Then, the sun must have risen because he could see the outline of the egg once more.</p><p>He didn't think he slept then, but he must have fallen unconscious because one moment there was light and the next it was growing dark again.</p><p>
  <em>They'll come for me. Stay alive until then.</em>
</p><p>The egg gave a strong shudder.</p><p>
  <em>Just hold on. Just a little longer.</em>
</p><p>There was a clicking sound coming from the egg now.</p><p>
  <em>Just a little more. They'll come for me.</em>
</p><p>He lost all light and the fervent clicking sound filled the night.</p><p>
  <em>They can't find me. They can't find me they can't find me they can't</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Light crept into the pit once more.</p><p>The egg had begun to rock gently from one side to the other.</p><p>All night, Lance had been working on moving his left arm. With a monumental amount of effort, Lance could drag the limb closer and then further away from himself. But he couldn’t move his fingers and he certainly couldn’t pull himself out of this hole.</p><p>But he had to try.</p><p>With a wet crack, mandibles finally appeared out of the egg’s shell. Lance's breathing stopped now as he watched the grey larva emerge slowly. It’s jaws snapped at the air and Lance could tell by the way its mandibles glinted in the dim light that they were sharp, capable of causing damage, despite just hatching.</p><p>A grotesque larva, it was about as long as his forearm and it swiveled its swollen head from one side to the other, searching.</p><p>
  <em>Click, click, click.</em>
</p><p>Lance began breathing harshly. He pulled his arm closer, making a strangled noise in his throat from the effort.</p><p>The thing flopped out of its shell and, snapping its mandibles together, it continued to make that horrible sound that Lance had been hearing for hours or… days. He didn't know. Had his team really left him for days?</p><p>It shifted, angling itself toward him.</p><p>
  <em>Help help help help help</em>
</p><p>Lance batted at a fish that had begun to decay by his head. He needed to get something between him and this horrible thing.</p><p>His first weak attempts at dislodging the fish from the mud were futile, but as the larva reared, lance summoned all the strength he had and was able to move the fish between them.</p><p>The clicking was getting louder. He thought he heard the cracking of more eggs. Lance flung his arm out, trying to move more dead or paralyzed creatures to be a buffer for him.</p><p>A sickening crunching filled the air and Lance watched as the larva ate the fish with fervor, tearing through skin and small bones in only a few moments.</p><p>Lance felt a tingling sensation in his foot and he hoped he was regaining some sensation. He thought he maybe felt cold, but he could not tell for sure. Maybe his senses would return. If he could move a leg and an arm, then maybe he could last long enough. Long enough to be rescued.</p><p>
  <em>Please, please, please, find me. Someone find me. Please, please.</em>
</p><p>He was trying not to make too much noise. It would probably be smart to stay quiet. But he kept choking on the air he was dragging in and while he couldn’t seem to form words, he was letting out the most awful sobbing noises.</p><p>He blinked the tears from his vision and concentrated on moving what was around him. He knew that lizard he pushed forward was probably alive, but paralyzed and he felt sick when he heard its bones being crunched up.</p><p>
  <em>That’s going to be me, that’s going to be me.</em>
</p><p>Soon there was only mud between him and the thing. It swiveled its head again and he saw the moment it sensed him. It stopped wavering and began undulating forward.</p><p>Lance pushed more mud towards it, but it didn’t slow it down. With his last panicked strength he swiped at it, trying to knock it away. He made contact with its head, but the blow only caused it to rear back and click its jaws more loudly, before surging forward again.</p><p>
  <em>I’m going to die. </em>
</p><p>He struck out again, and saw the mandibles sink into his forearm.</p><p>It didn’t hurt, but the sight sent Lance reeling. He tried to pull his arm back, but tiny, sticky legs held his wrist in place.</p><p>He could hear the wet clicking as it settled in to finally eat and he could see the red that was now covering his arm and the larva’s jaws. He heard something snap in his arm.</p><p>Lance screamed.</p><p>And screamed and screamed.</p><p>Then everything finally stopped.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t been expecting the warmth or the light.</p><p>It had seemed like dying would be a painful, cold experience. The warmth came as a surprise.</p><p>“Holy shit.”</p><p>“Back up, back up. I need to get him on the stretcher. Shiro grab his legs.”</p><p>Were there hands on him? He thought he felt like he was moving, but he couldn’t feel anything touching him. It was more like he was floating off somewhere and the voices were drifting in from high above him.</p><p>“Coran, his leg-”</p><p>“Yes, put pressure here.”</p><p>“His arm! Coran, is he going to lose it?”</p><p>“Shhhh, not now. He can hear you.”</p><p>He knew them. He knew them. His team, his team. Thank God. He wasn’t dead. Alive, numb and weak, but alive and they had found him.</p><p>He wished he could open his eyes. He wanted to see them so badly, but his eyelids were so heavy.</p><p>“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright. Relax, my boy. Relax. Everything will be alright.”</p><p>He wanted to know for sure that he wasn’t imagining them. But he couldn't feel and he couldn't see...</p><p>“Oh, don’t cry, don’t cry. You’re going to be just fine.” Coran’s voice was so close, whispering in his ear, encouraging him to remain calm. </p><p>Lance cried anyway.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>There had been a lot of blood.</p><p>Shiro had been putting pressure on Lance’s calf for the entire trip from the middle of the forest until they reached the infirmary room on the castleship. When Coran injected Lance with something to counteract the venom and then told Shiro to move, he didn’t hear him.</p><p>It was too much blood.</p><p>Covering Lance’s arm and his leg. Pooling onto the stretcher and smearing across Coran’s hands, across his own hands…</p><p>Lance’s arm had a large dent in it. As did his leg. Skin, tendons and part of his bone had been chewed away.</p><p>“Shiro, step aside.” Coran wasn’t being unkind, but he was firm. Shiro was hindering the process. He jerked to the right as if he had been struck, giving Coran room to work.</p><p>“Is he going in the pod?” Hunk asked, his voice sounding far away.</p><p>“Yes, yes, I just need to assess the fracture in his arm and leg.” Coran busied himself, readjusting Lance's leg on the infirmary cot. </p><p>Coran said fracture. But it was more than that.</p><p>The Altean stabilized Lance’s leg so that the bone would have a chance to heal properly. The arm though…</p><p>It looked like a compound fracture. Shiro had only seen one up close once at the Garrison and it didn’t look as bad as Lance’s did. The bone wasn’t just broken, a portion of it just wasn’t <em>there</em>.</p><p>Coran said it would be alright, but, as the Altean wrapped Lance’s arm, Shiro saw the worry that crossed his face. The concern was quickly replaced by determination, but Shiro had seen the fear there.</p><p>“You will be alright,” Coran whispered. Shiro glanced down to Lance. If the boy could hear him, he gave no indication. A monitor beeped loudly and Coran nodded.</p><p>“The antivenom is working. I've cleaned it as best as I can. It's time for the pod now. Shiro, help me with him.”</p><p>"He still has mud all over him, you don't want to change him out of his swimming shorts?" Hunk twisted his fingers nervously. Saying mud was being kind. Lance was covered in grime, blood and bits of chewed up animals. Coran took a deep breath before responding in a rush. </p><p>"We cannot wait that long. I will keep an eye out for infection."</p><p>Shiro moved forward, forcing his hands not to tremble. He carefully, <em>carefully</em> lifted Lance up and took him to a waiting pod. Lance was cold and if not for the slight movement of his chest, Shiro would have thought he wasn’t breathing at all.</p><p>Shiro settled Lance into the pod as gently as he could, but he grimaced when Lance lulled to the side before the pod could fully activate. After the pod hissed shut, there was silence. Shiro stared at Lance in the pod and he breathed out. </p><p>“He’s going to live, Shiro.” Coran pushed a towel into Shiro's hands and then nodded to the other side of the room, drawing Shiro's attention away from Lance and to the rest of the team, huddled nearby, looking terrified.</p><p>
  <em>Be brave for them. </em>
</p><p>Shiro wiped the blood from his hands.</p><p>It was time to be the adult.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was tempted to end it with Lance passing out, but I decided not to hurt you guys like that and at least give you part of the rescue. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Even though I grossed myself out, I finally went back and fixed mistakes in the last chapter. Heh. This chapter isn't so... graphic. But we start dealing with a lot of trauma here. Thank you to everyone for the support! Please enjoy and ignore mistakes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Hunk had run all the way back to the Paingui village, he had been in a complete panic; breathing and sobbing so hard that nobody could understand what he was saying. He had a puncture wound that went through the skin between his thumb and index finger on his right hand and they were trying to stop the bleeding, even though he was waving them away, when he finally choked out Lance’s name. All of the paladins gathered around close, the beginnings of fear taking root.</p><p>Their guide, Crail made his way over to their group. And he saw the wound on Hunk’s hand, heard the name of the blue paladin stuttering out from Hunk’s mouth.</p><p>There was an explosion of activity.</p><p>The call went out through the forest. <em>Sleassal</em>. Sleassal had taken the blue paladin. Paingui children were rushed inside their homes and adult Painguian warriors assembled with spears and other weapons in hand.</p><p>“You went to the lake,” Crail pulled Hunk to the side.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, we didn’t know. We-”</p><p>“That is my failing for not explaining the situation to you. Sleassal only come out at the hottest time of the day. And then they fly back to their burrows. Show me which direction they went.”</p><p>Hunk nodded frantically. “Okay, okay, okay. But-but we should take yellow. It will be faster.”</p><p>They were able to fly to the lake in record time, but there was no sign of Lance or the giant flying wasps and all Hunk could do was choke on a building sob as he pointed in the vague direction Lance had been carried off.</p><p>“Be still, young paladin,” Crail had whispered in Hunk’s ear. “We will find your friend.”</p><p>Hunk took a deep breath and straightened up. “Okay.”</p><hr/><p>Hunk awoke with a violent start. He couldn’t remember what exactly he had been dreaming, but he recognized the blind panic and full blown anxiety seizing up his chest.</p><p>“It was just a dream. It’s okay,” a familiar voice spoke softly above him.</p><p>Hunk rolled over, catching sight of Lance in the pod. It wasn’t just a dream and it wasn’t okay. Not really.</p><p>Hunk looked up at Shiro and he studied the man carefully. Shiro was sitting in the middle of their sleeping area on the floor. Hunk, Pidge and even Keith had decided to camp out in front of Lance’s pod. Shiro allowed them to, as long as they actually slept. However, it looked like their leader hadn’t slept since Lance was taken- three days ago. Well, none of them had been able to really sleep while Lance was gone, but even though he was back now, Shiro still kept watch.</p><p>“You can go back to sleep. It’s alright,” Shiro said. Hunk blinked rapidly, willing himself awake. He didn’t feel like going back to sleep anyway.</p><p>“I don’t know if I can,” Hunk admitted. Shiro’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Is it your hand? Is it bothering you?”</p><p>Hunk had been given a dose of the antivenom, though the stinger had punched clean through his flesh and he didn’t seem to be suffering any adverse effects. Coran had wrapped up his whole hand and splinted his thumb when he had refused to go into a pod. How could Hunk think about going into a pod when Lance had been missing? And now, he didn’t want to go into a pod so soon after finding Lance. He wanted to keep an eye on him. His thumb was sore, but it was expected to be fine. Hunk was going to let it heal on its own. It was really such a small thing compared to what Lance had dealt with. Hunk couldn’t even think about it without feeling sick.</p><p>“No, it’s not that.”</p><p>Shiro nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Hunk frowned, he didn't know if Shiro meant his dream or everything that had happened. “I don’t know if I can. I mean, it was just- it was awful.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” Shiro shuffled closer, mindful of Keith beginning to stir in his sleep. “It’s okay, Hunk. You don’t have to talk about it.”</p><p>They went silent while Hunk picked at a loose thread on his comforter.</p><p>“It’s just that…” Hunk trailed off and cleared his throat. “I keep thinking that I wish we had found him sooner.” Hunk clenched his blanket in his fist. “And I think it’s my fault. I should have brought my bayard, I should have been faster, I shouldn’t have agreed to going to the lake at all, I-”</p><p>“Hunk,” Shiro placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You did your best, you got away and you got help. That’s all you could have done.” Shiro patted his shoulder. “And I’m glad you did go with him. Because if he had gone alone, we would have never known what happened.”</p><p>Hunk hadn’t thought of it like that. If Lance had snuck off alone, they probably never would have found him. As it was, it had taken days to locate the main nest and then figure out how to find Lance in one of the many, many tunnels. In the end, Blue had stepped in. Allura had been the one to go to Blue, asking for help. The Sleassal couldn’t handle cooler temperatures. So instead of spending so much time fighting off furious wasp parents and looking in individual tunnels, Allura had been able to get Blue to freeze most of the ground, though it had been tricky, keeping the frost to a thin layer, finding a temperature that would kill the larvae, but not kill Lance due to exposure. Once the ground was frozen, they moved through tunnels, searching and searching.</p><p>Keith had been the one to initially find Lance. And the boy had not said much about it since. Judging by the way Keith willingly camped out by the pod with them, it must have been like walking into a nightmare.</p><p>“This was really bad, Shiro,” Hunk finally muttered. Shiro sighed.</p><p>“I know. I know.”</p><p>“He’s not going to be okay, I mean like, Coran said he was probably still conscious for a lot of it.” Hunk winced. “He’s not going to be okay,” he repeated. Shiro breathed in and out.</p><p>“I know. But Lance is strong.” Shiro nodded as if agreeing with his own words. “And we can be strong for him too. You’re a good friend, Hunk. He’s going to need that.”</p><p>Hunk nodded. He could do that.</p><p>He could be strong to help Lance.</p><hr/><p>Shiro had insisted that they all spend at least some of their day doing something besides staring at Lance’s pod. Of course, once all of the paladins left, Shiro was left alone studying Lance’s vitals on a small screen. He couldn’t bring himself to step away. Judging by the sense of guilt that swirled in his gut, he knew it was his way of trying to make up for not protecting Lance earlier. For not finding him in time.</p><p>
  <em>You shouldn’t leave him alone now. </em>
</p><p>Shiro pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose. He was so tired, but he knew he would have nightmares the moment he closed his eyes. Looking at Lance’s injuries had sparked some dark memory in the back of his mind.</p><p>
  <em>Too much blood. Too much damage to save the arm. </em>
</p><p>Shiro flexed cold, metal fingers. This wasn’t like that. Coran had said he would be okay.</p><p>The doors opened with a hiss and Shiro jumped at the noise. Coran came strolling in with a familiar, but forgotten object in his hands.</p><p>“Ah, there you are number one! I’ve just come from meeting with the Painguians and Crail wanted me to give you this.” Coran held Shiro’s decorative bowl up. It was finished. Someone had put a glaze on it for him so that it now glinted in the light. “I’ve already located the others and handed out their projects. Ah,” Coran plucked a small object from inside the bowl and set it next to the computer keyboard, “I will put the candle holder here for now. Perhaps Hunk can take it to Lance’s room later on.”</p><p>Shiro stared at the bowl that was pushed into his hands and then to the now hardened clay that Lance had been working with. It felt like they had made these things a lifetime ago. He had completely forgotten about them. Things really had gone wrong so quickly.</p><p>“Thank you,” Shiro managed. He cleared his throat, but it didn’t help the lump he felt there.</p><p>“You know,” Coran pulled at his moustache, “Crail said you made a beautiful bowl. He said for as long as our ship remains here, you are welcome to make another.”</p><p>“Tell him I appreciate it, but I can’t.”</p><p>Coran hummed. “Well, if not that, then I must recommend you do get some sleep.” Coran nodded at Lance’s pod. “You’ll be able to help him more if you are not exhausted.”</p><p>Right. Coran could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. It was obvious really. When Shiro didn’t respond, Coran went to the computer instead, bringing up Lance’s scans.</p><p>“He is healing. The bone in his leg looks like it will come together on its own. Unfortunately, there is a lot of tissue missing from his calf and a small chunk from his heel. The pod is working to knit the skin together over the wounds, but it can’t regrow all of the tissues there. The arm,” Coran tapped his chin, thinking, “I am sorry to say that there is too much bone missing from this one, the radius, for it to fuse together on its own. And there is extensive tissue damage as well.” Coran looked up at Shiro. “What do you need to know right now? What would help?”</p><p>Shiro shook his head, he wished he wasn’t holding something breakable, he thought he might snap it in half.</p><p>“Can you fix it?” Shiro had wanted to ask earlier, Coran had said it would be alright, but Shiro needed to know if Coran actually had a plan to help Lance. Because Shiro didn’t know a lot about anatomy, but he knew about nerve damage. Lance’s achilles tendon had been ruptured and he knew that would cause problems and losing tendons in his arm would mean loss of motion in his fingers and did they have the technology to fix it? Because Earth sure as hell didn’t.</p><p>“Most likely I will have to transfer tissues into the leg and arm and I would have to reconnect the nerves that I could. I would replace a portion of the bone in his arm.”</p><p>“He is going to keep the arm and the leg.” Shiro bit the inside of his cheek.</p><p>“Yes,” Coran tilted his head. “ I said before he would. I wasn’t being dishonest.”</p><p>Shiro wiped away the sweat that had formed on his brow.</p><p>“I know, but I needed to ask.” Shiro forced his shoulders to relax. Coran nodded in understanding.</p><p>“It’s not going to be easy. And, well, it will be extensive. I wanted to talk to him about it before I did anything. I think he should know all about his options. He deserves that.”</p><p>After so much had happened, after Lance had been forced into a situation that he physically couldn’t escape, Coran wanted Lance to have a say in his treatment.</p><p>“You’re right,” Shiro whispered, the lump in his throat grew, making it harder to get words out.</p><p>“But first!” Coran clapped his hands together. “I believe you should find a place for your bowl in your room and then rest. Lance will need some assistance when he comes out of the pod, and you’re going to need to be fully awake for it.”</p><p>Shiro shifted his weight from one foot to another. Coran was right. He wouldn’t be useful to Lance if he exhausted himself. It sounded like Lance had a long road of recovery ahead of him and Shiro intended on supporting him through it.</p><p>“Alright,” Shiro finally agreed.</p><p>He was going to take care of himself and he was going to protect his team better next time. Shiro glanced at the pod over his shoulder as he left the room.</p><p>
  <em>I promise. </em>
</p><hr/><p>An infection built up in Lance’s system. Coran said he would be alright, but he would keep him in the pod until Lance’s body had time to fight off the infection and heal. It delayed Lance waking up by another three days. By the time Coran gave them the all clear, the whole team could barely contain their anxiety. Hunk wanted to say he was excited for Lance to wake up because he wanted to see his friend and he wanted to talk to him, but Lance’s predicament weighed heavily on his mind. If Hunk had been out in the water, he might have been carried off too. He tried to imagine the situation Lance had been in, but he couldn’t grasp the fear Lance must have faced for days.</p><p>“Alright! Is everyone ready?” Coran called, bringing the group closer to the pod. “Hunk? Are you ready?”</p><p>Hunk nodded. He was about as ready as he could possibly be.</p><hr/><p>It was cold.</p><p>It was cold and it was slow.</p><p>Lance felt like he was floating somewhere. Though. Actually. He was pretty sure there were arms around him. So not floating.</p><p>
  <em>Weird.</em>
</p><p>It seemed important that there were arms around him and voices in his ear. That was important. Because. It was important because. Because.</p><p>
  <em>I’m alive. </em>
</p><p>Lance’s eyes snapped open, but he couldn’t focus. He inhaled sharply. He struggled. Someone told him not to panic, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to move, he needed to move.</p><p>“Alright, set him down. He’s going to hurt himself.”</p><p>He felt cold creep up his spine and something solid against his back.</p><p>“Lance,” Hunk’s voice was close, “you’re okay, now. It’s okay. You’re safe. I promise.”</p><p>Lance exhaled a shuddering breath.</p><p>
  <em>Safe. Safe. Safe. </em>
</p><p>Lance blinked, finally bringing his friend’s face into focus. Hunk grinned wide, though he looked teary eyed. “Hey,” he whispered.</p><p>Lance inhaled slowly. He turned his head and wanted to cry in relief. He could <em>move</em>. He hadn’t been sure if there was permanent damage, but he could feel everything. Hunk’s hand on his shoulder, the cold floor beneath him... Actually, there was a lot of his skin exposed.</p><p>“Am I- am I still wearing my swimming trunks?” Lance rasped out.</p><p>“Sorry, my boy. It was an emergency.” Coran appeared with a blanket which he gently laid across Lance. The pod had, at least, eventually broken down all of the excess dirt and other contaminants, leaving Lance’s skin clean. “Once you feel a little better, you can change into something more comfortable. Alright?”</p><p>Lance nodded. He began shifting his arms under the blanket. Coran noticed the movement. He knelt quickly at Lance’s side.</p><p>“Just a moment, Lance. Be very careful. Let’s sit up.” With the help of Hunk, they had Lance sitting up. He leaned into Hunk for warmth and the boy wrapped an arm around Lance’s shoulders. Lance felt like it had been so long since he had been <em>warm</em>. Lance finally looked past his friend and saw the rest of the team gathered, looking pale and nervous.</p><p>“I’m okay,” Lance assured them automatically. Pidge scoffed.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” she muttered. Shiro set a hand on her shoulder before he looked at Lance.</p><p>“It’s good to see you awake, Lance.” He forced a smile onto his face. “Listen to Coran, okay?”</p><p>Lance didn’t like Shiro’s strained smile. Though it probably wasn’t as bad as the look Keith was giving him. Mullet was hovering in the background, scowling. He looked pissed as hell. Lance racked his brain, but he had no idea why Keith would be irritated with him now.</p><p>Lance huddled closer to Hunk, relishing the warmth. His attention wandered too far. Hunk squeezed his shoulder. Lance jerked slightly, realizing Coran had been talking to him.</p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p>“Can I see your arm?” Coran was already beginning to lift the blanket away. Lance nodded and Coran folded the blanket back. Lance hadn’t realized until now that he had a black brace wrapping around his left arm from the wrist to his elbow.</p><p>Coran moved slowly, giving Lance time to protest, but Lance just stared. Stared and tried not to think. Coran picked up his right hand, examining, the area where the wasp had stung him on his forearm and then his shoulder. The skin was smooth and there were no marks remaining from the incident.</p><p>“I’m going to check your hip, alright?” Coran quickly lifted the blanket further away and Lance did his best not to shiver. There was no mark there either and Coran nodded, satisfied with the healing from the pods. “Three stings,” Coran spoke softly. He covered the area with the blanket once more. “They must have hurt.”</p><p>Lance nodded minutely. Yes, he remembered being stung. Coran picked up his right hand.</p><p>“Can you move your fingers? Squeeze my hand,” Coran prompted.</p><p>Lance did as he was told. That arm felt okay. Like nothing had happened. Lance’s eyes went to his left arm. The brace hid everything, but he had been in the pod, so it should be healed… but there had been a lot of damage. A lot of skin and muscle ripped out....</p><p>Lance’s world went dark around the edges.</p><p>“Can you move your fingers?” Coran was gently holding his left hand now. Lance stared. Hunk kept him from listing to the side too far.</p><p>“Coran, he’s-”</p><p>“Ah, Lance,” Coran dropped the hand he was holding. “Breathe in.”</p><p>Lance did as he was told.</p><p>“And breathe out.”</p><p>Lance gasped in air like he was choking.</p><p>“It’s alright, try again. Match Hunk- No, Hunk, Hunk, breathe.”</p><p>“Oh shit, are they both having a panic attack?”</p><p>“<em>Pidge</em>.”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry! I was just nervous! I’m breathing. I’m breathing now!” Hunk thumped his chest. “See, in and out. In and out.”</p><p>Shiro finally knelt down on the floor. “That’s too fast. Both of you take a breath and count with me.”</p><p>The next few moments were filled with slow breathing exercises and the sound of Shiro counting.</p><p>Once the room was calmer, Coran sighed loudly.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, my boy. I was eager to assess you.” Coran smiled sadly at Lance. “Would you like to change first? And then, when you’re more comfortable, we can assess your strength? Does that sound better?”</p><p>Lance swallowed. He wasn’t sure how well he was going to be able to move, so it made sense to figure it out as soon as possible, but he also wanted to get out of these godforsaken swimming trunks. It almost seemed like no time had passed, the wounds were gone, but he was still wearing the same damn thing; it seemed like it had just happened. To him, he had just been stuck in a hell hole a few moments ago and now he was safe, but maybe still injured? It was too much. He couldn’t process it.</p><p>“Pajamas?” Lance managed. They were the most comfortable thing he owned on the ship. Coran nodded.</p><p>“Of course, my dear boy.”</p><hr/><p>Shiro had asked Keith and Pidge to leave, thinking less people would probably be better for Lance right now. Hunk asked Lance if he wanted him to stay and Lance nodded desperately.</p><p>Hunk had carried him to an examination table and helped him change into fresh pajamas. He didn’t let Lance put weight on his leg or lift anything. It wasn’t an assessment, but Lance himself felt the way his hand didn’t respond when he tried to move it and he really felt it when he tried to move his foot up and down and nothing happened.</p><p>Lance stared hard at the braces. What did his skin look like underneath?</p><p>“Do you feel a bit better?” Coran was smiling so gently at him. Like Lance was a scared little kid.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lance said, ignoring the pit in his stomach.</p><p>“Arm or leg first?” Coran set a hand on his knee. Lance furrowed his brow.</p><p>“What happened to my leg?” Lance sounded far away. Everyone in the room went silent. The Altaen cleared his throat.</p><p>“Your leg was injured.” Coran settled on. Lance opened his mouth, he almost asked how, but judging by the way everyone was looking at the floor, he realized it must have been… eaten.</p><p>“You didn’t know your leg was injured. That’s alright. That’s understandable.” Coran patted his knee.</p><p>“Leg,” Lance decided.</p><p>The brace there began near his ankle and went to just below his knee. Coran left the brace in place while he did the assessment. Lance moved the limb the way the Altean asked and he realized he did have some movement, but when Coran moved his hand under his heel and asked him to push, nothing happened.</p><p>“Your main tendon- I’m told it’s called achilles- that was damaged. You won’t be able to push off with this foot.” Coran tapped at his heel. “The injury right at the bottom here has healed beautifully though.”</p><p>God. They kept saying they were injured or damaged. His tendons were eaten through. It wasn’t like he strained them while he was training or something.</p><p>He was breathing too hard again.</p><p>“Alright, alright.” Coran stopped his assessment. “Lance, my boy, listen to me.” Coran waited until Lance was making eye contact with him. “This is not forever. I am going to repair as much of it as I can. You’re going to be alright.” Coran squeezed his shoulder.</p><p>Lance nodded, but his breathing didn’t slow down.</p><p>“Lance,” Shiro spoke up, “what do you need right now? Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“No.” Lance didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to. He wanted to forget what happened. Maybe they could pretend it was a training injury. Could they do that? Everyone else seemed to want to.</p><p>“Can I see it?”</p><p>“Ah, Lance. I’m not sure.” Coran’s hands fell away from his leg.</p><p>Lance pulled as best as he could at the brace around his left arm, dully aware of how half the fingers on his left hand refused to respond.</p><p>“Don’t hurt yourself, let me.” Coran frowned as he found the edge of the brace and pried it away. The fabric pulled as he unwound it and Lance expected it to hurt, but it didn’t. That made sense, he supposed. It had never hurt. Not when he was alone in the tunnel and not when small jaws were sinking into his flesh…</p><p>The brace fell free and Lance stared at his normal looking arm. With his hand, palm down as it was, it didn’t look any different. He tried to rotate his arm, to expose the underside of it, but his arm only twitched in response.</p><p>“Your radius was damaged. I’m going to replace it, but for now, you might have trouble rotating your arm and moving your wrist.”</p><p>Lance didn’t say anything and Coran slowly, slowly took his forearm in both his hands. He gently flipped the limb over, revealing the damaged side. Coran’s hands remained there, cradling Lance’s scarred arm.</p><p>It was horrible.</p><p>By some miracle of the pods, skin had healed over the wound, but his arm was severely dented and the skin was uneven, rough and misshapen.</p><p>It <em>looked </em>like something had eaten it.</p><p>What the hell had he been expecting?</p><p>Lance’s breathing hitched and when Hunk wrapped an arm around his shoulder once more, he let out a loud sob. He cradled his arm close to his chest, dragging Coran’s hands along with him. He hunched over the mutilated limb, hiding it away from view, protecting it as best as he could.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Hunk whispered into his hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.”</p><p>“It will look better in time. I promise, dear boy. I promise,” Coran’s voice was so soft, so earnest.</p><p>Lance cried harder.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I realized I accidentally traumatized the whole team. So, I'm going to try and at least give a little comfort to a lot of them. Still Lance focused though. Anyway, thanks for reading! Please leave a comment! I love them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who commented last time. This fic is certainly turning out longer than I thought it would. Oh well. I'm very pleased to bring you a new chapter this week! Please ignore mistakes and enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They managed to get Lance to his room.</p><p>Coran had slipped new braces onto his arm and leg, something light that would still provide support. He hid away Lance’s scarred flesh and only then was Lance really able to catch his breath.</p><p>“I am going to take care of it.” That was the last thing Coran said to him before leaving him alone with Hunk.</p><p>Lance had nodded, but hadn’t been able to say anything in response.</p><p>Hunk sat with him until Shiro showed up, carrying Hunk’s blankets and pillows with him. The man had remained mostly quiet during Lance’s failed assessment. He would be lying if he said the damage to Lance’s limbs didn’t set something off inside of him. The way Coran was assessing him and the way Lance was struggling to move… it reminded Shiro of past doctor appointments and a grim diagnosis.</p><p>He was glad Coran hadn’t asked him to breathe slowly to provide a reference for Lance, because at that time, Shiro had been struggling to breathe through it too.</p><p><em>He’s going to be fine</em>, Shiro reminded himself.</p><p>“I brought extra blankets,” Shiro said to the two boys sitting close together on Lance’s bed. Lance looked pale and exhausted. Shiro didn’t miss the haunted way he eyed the brace on his arm.</p><p>“Lance,” Shiro spoke softly, drawing the boy’s attention. “Try to get some rest.” It was still early, but Lance had already been through a lot in only a few short hours and they all thought it was best if he just took it easy the rest of the day.</p><p>Lance nodded and cast his eyes away.</p><p>“Thanks, Shiro.” Hunk began arranging his blankets into a makeshift bed on the floor. He covered Lance’s feet with a comforter and grinned up at his friend. The corner of Lance’s mouth turned up ever so slightly.</p><p>“I’m going to be in the training room for awhile,” Shiro said. “Come get me if you need anything, alright?”</p><p>Hunk nodded. “We will,” he chimed from his place on the floor.</p><p>Once the doors closed behind Shiro, Hunk let out a loud sigh.</p><p>“That guy trains too much, between him and Keith, I don’t know, man.” Hunk softly patted Lance’s foot. “Do you want to sleep?”</p><p>Lance looked unsure. He fidgeted, tapping his useless fingers lightly with his other hand.</p><p>“Careful,” Hunk whispered. Lance was as healed as he could be from the pod, but he should still be gentle. There was part of his bone missing in that arm after all. Hunk must have made a face because Lance abruptly stopped his fidgeting and let his hands slide off his lap.</p><p>“I can try to sleep,” Lance whispered. Hunk assisted Lance with swinging his legs up onto the bed and then was quick to pull a blanket over him. Once Lance was tucked in, Hunk sank back down into his own comforter. He was shifting around, getting comfortable when Lance made a small noise in the back of his throat. Hunk hummed in response.</p><p>“Can you leave the light on?” Lance managed in a hushed voice.</p><p>“Yeah,” Hunk kept his tone even. “Of course.”</p><hr/><p>Lance didn't sleep.</p><p>He stared at the wall and focused on breathing evenly. He could hear the rustling of Hunk's blankets and then the occasional whisper of his own name as Hunk checked to see if he was asleep. Lance didn’t respond. Soon his friend’s even breathing signaled that he had drifted off. Hunk must have been exhausted.</p><p>Lance took in a deep breath and let it go. He should sleep. He really should try to sleep. They all said the rest would do him good and he did feel tired after crying so much.</p><p>Lance’s gaze drifted from the wall to his left arm laying across the pillow. Sometimes he slept with his arm under the pillow or cradling his face. He couldn’t do that right now. Lance studied the brace that Coran had wrapped gently around his arm. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was foreign. He didn’t like the constricted feeling it gave him. He didn’t like how much effort it took to drag his arm back and forth, back and forth. Just like before, when he was alone in the dark.</p><p>He needed to be able to move it.</p><p>Lance’s breathing hitched, but he forced it to still, not wanting to wake up Hunk. His friend had already been through enough because of him. Though Lance had not asked, he had overheard Coran mentioning that Hunk had been stung too after all. And if Hunk had been carried away then he would have been down in the burrow with Lance and they would have gotten him too. It would have been Lance’s fault. If not for Hunk, there would not have been any rescue.</p><p>He would have died.</p><p>Lance pulled at the brace. He hated how distant it felt. He hated the way he was trying to curl his fingers into a fist, but only his thumb bent slightly. He tried to straighten it out again, but his thumb stayed curled, the tendon for straightening out his thumb must have been damaged.</p><p>Lance bit his lip, trying to keep from making any pitiful sounds. With his right hand, he straightened out his thumb and, even though Hunk had warned him against it, he then tapped at his fingers. He had sensation there, but it felt like his fingers were half asleep. Lance pulled at the brace near his wrist.</p><p>He didn’t like it. He didn’t want it. He scrabbled to find the way to unravel it. Coran had helped before and it must have been made to look seamless because he could not find any edge to pull on.</p><p>His breathing picked up as a dull pain spread through his arm. He was putting too much pressure on it. He was trying to move too much.</p><p>“Lance, don’t.”</p><p>Lance jumped at the voice so close to his ear and he tried to pull away from the hands that tried to still his own. Hunk’s palms were heavy as they landed on top of his hands, keeping them in place.</p><p>
  <em>Warm, familiar, safe. </em>
</p><p>There was a light bandage wrapped around Hunk’s palm and thumb and it made guilt twist inside Lance’s gut.</p><p>“Sorry,” Lance forced out. Hunk breathed heavily out of his nose, Lance felt the way it ruffled his hair.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to actually sleep.” Hunk’s hands were lifted away. Lance tried to roll to face him, but struggled not to use his left arm to do so. Without a word, Hunk helped maneuver him onto his back.</p><p>“I mean, I’m sorry you got hurt,” Lance clarified. Hunk’s eyes widened.</p><p>“I’m fine.” Hunk waved his bandaged hand in the air. “I didn’t even get any venom really. It’s almost completely healed.”</p><p>Lance opened his mouth to argue when the door to his room opened. Pidge shuffled in with her head down. She glanced up to see both boys staring at her.</p><p>“Oh, I thought you guys were sleeping.”</p><p>Hunk sat back into his bedding.</p><p>“Not right now. Were you trying to steal my blankets again?”</p><p>“No,” Pidge waved both her hands in front of her. “Keith is missing and Shiro just keeps suggesting everyone sleep and I don’t want a nap.” Pidge sat down on the edge of Lance’s bed. “It’s boring without you two.”</p><p>“Kieth is missing?” Hunk raised an eyebrow. Pidge shrugged.</p><p>“Coran thinks he has a hideaway somewhere on the ship. Shiro is checking the vents.”</p><p>Lance let out a huff of air. It was almost a laugh.</p><p>"Are you okay, Lance?" Pidge asked softly.</p><p>"Yeah," Lance answered immediately. Pidge scoffed.</p><p>"Liar." Without hesitation she scooted closer and then flopped down along Lance's right side.</p><p>Lance moved his right arm across his chest and he would have scooted over if he thought his left arm could help with the task.</p><p>"Careful of his leg," Hunk warned. Pidge rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I know." Pidge bent her knees and let her feet dangle off the bed. She settled in close, resting her chin near his shoulder. "I told Coran everything I could remember. Anatomy wasn't my favorite subject though. Shiro knew stuff about muscle groups."</p><p>"Pidge," Hunk warned.</p><p>"I'm just saying, we all want you to be okay." Pidge placed her hand on Lance’s arm. "But it's fine- I mean, it’s fine, if you're not okay."</p><p>Lance rapidly blinked back tears.</p><p>"Oh," he managed to get out. Pidge squeezed his arm and settled into his side. Lance breathed softly, stray tears slipped down and dampened his hairline.</p><p>“You don’t have to be okay right now,” Pidge insisted. Lance’s throat constricted, but he forced a nod. With his good arm, he reached up and placed his hand on her head and smoothed down her hair, before placing the arm back across his chest.</p><p>“Thank you,” Lance whispered.</p><hr/><p>Lance didn’t think he slept. He knew he was safe and warm and near his friends, but something in the back of his mind kept him from completely relaxing. Some lingering fear kept his senses alert enough that he spent the next hour being still and listening.</p><p>Neither Hunk or Pidge said anything else and he knew they were hoping he was asleep, really resting after having his breakdown after getting out of the pod. The pod was great for knitting people back together, but he never felt completely awake afterwards. Coran had once told him that healing takes a lot of energy and napping after a stint in a pod was not only common, but recommended.</p><p>He didn’t feel like he could ever sleep again.</p><p>He sighed and let his eyes flutter open. He needed to pee and he was going to need help sitting up and standing and walking…</p><p>“Hunk,” he muttered. Before his friend could respond, his door opened and Keith came striding in. Keith was frowning deeply and staring anywhere, but at Lance. Pidge sat up, snorting in amusement.</p><p>“Did Shiro find your hideout?” Pidge grinned. Keith shook his head, not nearly amused by the situation. He held out a drink pouch vaguely in Lance’s direction.</p><p>“Coran and Shiro say you should drink.”</p><p>Lance did his best to quickly sit up, leveraging himself up with only one arm, but the mattress was too soft and he knew he was listing to the side heavily. Pidge moved the pillow to support him and then nudged him into a more upright position. Hunk ended up taking the pouch from Keith while Lance got himself situated. He handed the pouch to his friend as soon as Lance was stable. </p><p>“They say you should eat too. Shiro is going to bring you soup.” Keith shuffled from one foot to another and then began stepping toward the door.</p><p>“Shiro cooked?” Lance nearly choked on his drink. Shiro was infamous for burning every meal he tried to prepare. He swore he burned water once.</p><p>“Hunk cooked yesterday. Shiro is reheating,” Keith clarified.</p><p>“Ah,” Hunk began to stand, “I’ll go check on that.”</p><p>Hunk hustled out of the room and Keith followed. Lance sighed, realizing he still needed to pee and he was now left with Pidge. She needlessly fussed with his pillow and then cleared her throat, breaking their silence. Lance raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“Keith found you. That’s why he is being weird.”</p><p>“What?” Lance sat the forgotten drink pouch down on the mattress.</p><p>“He found you. In the tunnels. And he dragged you out. I don’t think he’s talked about it at all.”</p><p>
  <em>Dark, blood, fear, death. </em>
</p><p>“Yeah.” Lance knew what Keith had found. He must have thought he was dead at first. Lance shuddered. His injured leg jerked, but didn’t lift off the bed.</p><p>“You with me?” Pidge was peering closely at him.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lance fidgeted. “I need Hunk to come back and help me up. I need to go to the bathroom.”</p><p>Pidge blinked. “I can help you up.”</p><p>“Pidge, I can’t- I need to lean on someone.”</p><p>“You can lean on me. I can walk you over there. I can step out of the bathroom until you’re done, but I can help you get there.” Pidge stood with her hands on her hips. “I can help you walk.” She sounded so sure, Lance believed her.</p><p>He hadn’t wanted to put his weight on her, but when his leg wouldn’t support him, he didn’t have a choice. Pidge walked with him without wavering.</p><p>Her strength never stopped surprising him.</p><hr/><p>The assessment was completed in Lance’s room, away from the infirmary and in a location that they hoped Lance would feel more comfortable. Hunk still held his hand throughout the whole thing.</p><p>Lance remained calm. Though he felt detached when Coran asked him to move his fingers one way and then the other. When Coran removed both braces, he looked away. The scars were horrible and ugly and huge and he couldn’t bear to see them in that moment. It didn’t matter how Coran swore they would look better in time, they were a grim reminder of a trauma Lance had barely begun to process. Hunk patted his hair and told him they would be done soon.</p><p>After the assessment was over and the braces back in place, Coran sat heavily down beside Lance. He sighed and tapped his chin in thought.</p><p>Lance shifted as best as he could.</p><p>“Do you want to hear your options?” Coran finally asked.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lance leaned away from Hunk and sat up more fully.</p><p>“You can stay as you are and I will find better braces for you. Some that will help you move. You won’t have the same strength, but you should be able to send signals to your hand and foot. Or I can transfer muscle, tendon, bone and skin into the appropriate areas. And you could heal from that surgery on your own, or in the pod. It’s your choice.”</p><p>“It would take a long time to heal outside of the pod, wouldn’t it?”</p><p>“Oh yes. A very long time.”</p><p>There wasn’t much of a choice then was there?</p><p>“Surgery makes more sense... the pod makes more sense.” They were still fighting a war after all.</p><p>“I know, but I wanted you to have the option, since you didn’t get one last time.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Lance made a fist with his right hand. His thumb curled on his left and stayed that way. “But I still pick the pod. I want to be better.”</p><p>Coran nodded. He sat a hand on Lance’s back. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he nodded again.</p><p>“You are very brave, my boy.”</p><p>Lance started to argue, but Coran shook his head, interrupting him.</p><p>“You <em>are</em>. Incredibly brave.”</p><p>Lance didn’t think brave people should feel this hurt and scared, but he forced a small smile because he knew it would please Coran. He owed it to the others to be stronger.</p><p>Coran smiled back at him.</p><hr/><p>Lance knew he was asleep. He’d shut his eyes, exhausted, finally willing to try and sleep through the night, and now he was caught between sleep and wakefulness.</p><p>He knew that.</p><p>He could sense his body in the bed. He thought he could feel the warmth of one of his friends nearby. Maybe Hunk was sitting on the bed or Pidge had curled up at his side again.</p><p>He knew he wasn’t alone. He did.</p><p>But that didn’t change the fact that it was dark and quiet. And he could not <em>move</em>.</p><p>Everything he knew, scattered away from him.</p><p>
  <em>Click, click, click...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dark, alone, fear, death.</em>
</p><p>Something shifted against him. Something was grabbing his arm.</p><p>His arm. His arm. His arm.</p><p>
  <em>Not again, not again, not again.</em>
</p><p>He needed to move. Just move. Open his eyes and get away. He needed to-</p><p>
  <em>Click, click, click. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please, no. Please.</em>
</p><p>A pins and needles pain shot through his arm and leg. It hurt this time. It hurt and he couldn’t get away, he was trapped. Fear clutched his heart and he tried to force his lungs to take in air.</p><p>
  <em>I’m going to die alone.</em>
</p><p>He couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Stabbing pain shot up his arm.</p><p>He would have screamed if he could.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Please do comment! I love hearing from you and I do my best to reply to each one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay. Please excuse mistakes, I'm editing in the middle of the night again, though I swore I wouldn't do that anymore.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lance awoke with a violent start. Finally regaining enough control to lurch his body forward.</p><p>Something was on his arm.</p><p>
  <em>Get it off. Get it off. </em>
</p><p>Lance screamed as he jerked his arm away. He struggled to move, to get away. But his left arm collapsed under his weight and he fell onto his side. He kicked out, hated the way his right leg dragged after the other one. It was weak and pathetic.</p><p>"Lance! You're safe. You're in your room on the castleship!"</p><p>Hunk.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab his arm!"</p><p>Pidge.</p><p>He was safe. He was safe.</p><p>Lance took in a huge shuddering breath, willing his heart to slow. He swallowed down nausea and, with a great amount of effort, slowly rolled onto his back.</p><p>The pain he had felt in his dream had faded away, but there was a dull ache in his limbs. His muscles strained from trying to compensate for what he had lost.</p><p>He forced himself to open his eyes and take in his surroundings. The lights were on, he could see his friends. Looking nervous and scared for him.</p><p>"I'm alright," he forced out. "Bad dream," he explained, even though it was more than that. He managed to push himself onto his side and curled away from them then, drawing his arm close to his chest.</p><p>Protected. Safe.</p><p>"Lance," Hunk started, but didn't seem to know what to say. "Can I- can I sit with you?" Hunk finally stammered out.</p><p>No.</p><p>"No, that's okay. I'm fine. I'm- I'm going back to sleep," Lance lied. Hunk shuffled his feet, but didn't say anything else.</p><p>With everything he was, Lance forced himself to breathe evenly. He needed to stop gasping, shuddering, panicking...</p><p>"Okay," Hunk finally said as he settled down into his own bedding.</p><p>Pidge didn't perch herself on Lance's bed again, but Lance heard her ask Hunk if she could borrow a blanket.</p><p>The room went quiet.</p><p>Lance pressed his arm into his chest. He could feel his heart pounding away in his ribcage. Of course Pidge wouldn’t want to be near him. He had freaked out just because she had touched him. With the way he was fighting his body from shaking, he knew it was a bad idea for anyone to be too close. They would just freak him out.</p><p>But.</p><p>But he was alone.</p><p>So damn alone, even though his friends were a few feet away, he might as well be stuck back in that tunnel. Alone and scared.</p><p>“You’re safe.” Hunk’s hushed voice reached his ear. Lance took a deep breath. “You’re safe,” his friend repeated. Lance couldn’t bring himself to verbally acknowledge his friend’s words, but he noisily exhaled and managed to stop shaking.</p><p>
  <em>Safe. Safe. Safe. </em>
</p><p>They were sure to leave the lights on full brightness the rest of the night.</p><hr/><p>Lance emerged from his room slowly.</p><p>He needed help walking and Pidge or Hunk were always willing to be a crutch. Didn’t mean he had to like it though. He tried to say he was fine and that he could use the walls for support to get around, but with only one arm to lean with, it was more difficult than he thought.</p><p>He ended up planting face first in the hallway once and Coran very strongly suggested he not walk around without assistance. Coran was considering making him a cane, but Lance knew he would feel ridiculous using it. Not as ridiculous as falling on his face, but still.</p><p>Over the course of a few days, he started visiting the common areas and then, after a lot of coercing from Hunk, he showed up at the table for dinner. Hunk had made pasta, along with the closest thing to garlic knots that he could create.</p><p>Lance had only eaten light soups and space oatmeal for days. He kept complaining of feeling nauseous and they didn't push him. But he couldn’t keep disappointing Hunk. Not when Hunk had gone to the trouble to recreate one of his favorite foods.</p><p>Hunk was bustling around the table, clearly excited to be doing something so… normal.</p><p>Lance felt a pang of guilt again. Hunk had been keeping Lance company in his room. While Lance had nightmares and freaked out and cried, Hunk stayed nearby. It meant that Hunk hadn’t been getting out as much to do anything. Clearly he had enjoyed cooking their meal tonight as he went into great detail about discovering a garlic like seasoning in the pantry.</p><p>Keith appeared just as they were all sitting down. He nodded a hello before sliding into a seat next to Shiro.</p><p>“Are you hungry?” Shiro asked softly. The hushed tone struck Lance as odd and he wondered if maybe Keith had been scarce around meal times too.</p><p>Lance didn’t have time to think about it because soon Hunk was piling his plate with pasta and an orange sauce. Hunk then slid over an entire plate of garlic knots. He started to slide a glass of water over, but Lance waved him away.</p><p>“I’ve got it.” Lance shifted the glass himself with his right hand. Honestly, it was only his left arm that was useless. He could still feed himself.</p><p>Lance picked up a garlic knot first and he was sure to smile while he ate it, letting Hunk know that he had outdone himself once again.</p><p>Lance’s stomach gurgled, but he ignored it. He needed to enjoy this first real meal he was having.</p><p>Hunk was talking about the pasta, so Lance knew it was time to try the main dish. He swirled some noodles onto his fork and dug in with gusto. It was a nice flavor, kind of reminded him of pumpkin. Lance took another large bite, shoving a piece of what looked like chicken into his mouth without a thought.</p><p>The second his teeth sunk into the meat, he froze.</p><p>
  <em>Tendons ripping, muscles shredding. </em>
</p><p>He spit out the food back onto his plate with an involuntary spasm. Gagging hard, he bent over, trying to gain enough control to keep from throwing up on the table. He pressed his fingers into his mouth, willing the sickening nausea to stop. He blinked away the stinging in his eyes. He couldn’t start crying. If he started crying, he would have a harder time breathing and if he had a harder time breathing he was going to die.</p><p>No.</p><p>
  <em>I’m not dying. I’m not dying. </em>
</p><p>“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Shiro’s voice drifted to his ear. Lance took a deep shuddering breath. Or, at least he tried to. Not much air made it past his hand. “Relax, try again.” Shiro took a deep breath. Lance let his hand fall away and used it to cradle his left arm to his chest. He didn’t even realize he had pulled that arm close again.</p><p>
  <em>Safe. Safe. </em>
</p><p>Lance took a deep breath in and out.</p><p>In and out. In and out.</p><p>Slowly, Lance straightened up. Blinking tears from his eyes, he glanced around quickly at everyone’s concerned faces.</p><p>“I think,” Lance cleared his throat. “I think I’m a vegetarian now.” He was trying to keep his tone light, but he caught Keith’s eyes and he saw his own overwhelming horror reflected back in them. Keith had gone pale and he was clenching the edge of the table so hard, Lance thought he must be hurting his hands.</p><p>“Switch with me, Coran,” Shiro had noticed Keith’s reaction and he quickly made his way to him on the other side of the table. Coran was then at Lance’s side, humming softly and gently wiping spit from Lance’s chin with a handkerchief.</p><p>“Let’s step away,” Coran suggested. He held out his hand. “Can I help you, my boy?”</p><p>Lance nodded numbly and he let Coran pull him to his feet. Coran ducked under his right arm and proceeded to walk him from the room. Lance could hear Shiro speaking quietly to Keith, but the other boy didn’t seem to be answering. As the doors shut behind him, he caught the sound of Pidge and Allura speaking quickly and he realized they were consoling Hunk. His friend was upset. He had hurt him by reacting so badly to the meal. Lance felt guilt turning his stomach now. Coran halted in his movements and glanced at his charge.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter if you are sick on the floor. It can be cleaned.”</p><p>Lance shook his head, not sure if Coran could <em>hear </em>his stomach churning or if he was just guessing. “No, I’m okay,” Lance forced out. Coran nodded and they took one step at a time, shuffling back to Lance’s room.</p><p>For the entire walk back, Lance never stopped cradling his left arm to his chest.</p><hr/><p>Hunk and Lance both lay awake staring at the well lit ceiling. They hadn’t spoken since dinner, and the silence was painful. Lance felt like his stomach kept plummeting, whenever he tried to open his mouth.</p><p>Finally, Hunk took a noisy, deep breath.</p><p>“Lance, I’m so sorry!”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry,” Lance insisted.</p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“It’s not yours though!” Lance did his best to roll onto his side to face his friend. “It’s my problem, Hunk. And I’m so sorry it hurt you.”</p><p>“I wasn’t hurt that you couldn’t eat it.” Hunk sat up. “I was upset that I had… freaked you out so badly.”</p><p>Lance smiled sadly. “It’s not your fault, I swear.”</p><p>“Well,” Hunk made a fist, “I’m going to make the best vegetarian dishes, just you wait.”</p><p>Lance almost laughed. “You don’t need to do that just for me. I can just eat space goo.”</p><p>“I’m not letting you eat only space goo.” Hunk wrinkled his nose, but then he blinked. “But it would be for Keith too. He freaked out pretty badly after you left.”</p><p>Somehow, Lance felt guilty for that too. Saving Lance had really damaged Keith.</p><p>“I didn’t realize,” Lance spoke softly.</p><p>“Yeah, if he lets you, you should maybe, uh, talk to him.” Hunk shrugged. “If you feel up to it.”</p><p>Lance sighed. He didn’t feel up to much, but if it would help, he had to try.</p><p>“Yeah, alright.”</p><p>Hunk looked relieved, but the idea of talking to Keith about what had happened turned Lance’s stomach. He couldn't think about that right now. </p><p>Lance forced a smile and said goodnight to his friend.</p><hr/><p>Coran told him they would be doing the surgery in the morning.</p><p>Lance stared blankly as Coran discussed the procedure in depth. The Altean had come to the conclusion that he couldn't do the surgery on his own, so he’d enlisted the help of the Jelsari. A whole race of people who focused on healing others. Learning to heal on their planet was as expected as learning to communicate. Being able to help someone in need was common knowledge for them and, as their reach began to extend beyond their planet, they had become known as healers across the galaxy.</p><p>“Can’t it be just you?” Lance asked quietly as the Altean was doing the last assessment before Lance headed off to bed. Coran fussed over Lance’s arm brace and took a deep breath.</p><p>“It’s a tricky procedure. Even with help from the computer. I’m not confident I would be able to do the nerve reconstruction.” Coran gripped Lance’s shoulders. “It will be alright, no need to worry.”</p><p>Lance bit his lip and looked away. He felt Coran’s fingers tighten ever so slightly on his shoulders. Lance shut his eyes, hyper aware of the scrutiny he was under. He hadn’t been eating much and he wasn’t sleeping. The few times he managed to drift off, he was awoken by that feeling of paralysis. Every night he thought he was going to die. Even though they had told him not to panic when his body became aware, he never could relax once he realized he could not move. He tried so hard to scream for help and, even though Hunk was never far, Lance felt alone.</p><p>Dying alone.</p><p>Nobody wanted to die alone, but it had never been a fear he’d had until… until…</p><p>Arms wrapped around him tightly. Coran had pulled him into an embrace.</p><p>“It will be alright. I promise, dear boy.”</p><p>Lance pressed his face into Coran’s shoulder and choked back sudden tears.</p><p>
  <em>Safe. Safe. </em>
</p><hr/><p>The surgery had gone well. Coran insisted that it did. Though they wouldn’t know the full extent of the success until Lance got out of a pod. Hunk tried to tell himself that it was good that Lance didn’t have to deal with a long healing process. A few days in the pod and he would be perfectly healed. New muscles, nerves and skin all knitted together perfectly. No more dented in limbs or sunken scars. Just Lance. Perfectly healed and perfectly safe.</p><p>So it didn’t make sense.</p><p>It didn’t make sense that Hunk couldn’t sleep. He had moved back to his own room for the night, but found himself staring into the darkness for vargas. He kept listening to the silence. Waiting for the slight, distressed sounds of his best friend caught in sleep paralysis. But that was ridiculous. Lance was in the pod and Hunk needed to take advantage of the night alone and catch up on his sleep.</p><p>He waited, listening.</p><p>Eventually, he brought the lights up, no longer accustomed to sleeping in complete darkness.</p><p>He waited.</p><p>With a huff, Hunk rose from his bed and gathered his blankets. He thought he was going to go sleep on Lance’s floor, because he had grown used to it, but soon he found himself in front of Lance’s pod. Resigned, he dropped his blanket and pillow and stretched out on the floor.</p><p>He had only just closed his eyes when the doors slid open and a certain green paladin found her way to his side. She tossed down her own pillow and immediately stole half of his blanket. It wasn’t until Pidge had settled in by his side that she spoke.</p><p>“Everything sucks.”</p><p>Hunk hummed. “Try to sleep.”</p><p>“You too,” Pidge whispered. Hunk hummed again before shifting, adjusting his pillow.</p><p>On the floor, as close to Lance as they could be, their breathing evened out and, together, they found sleep.</p><hr/><p>Lance had never been so aware of his surroundings coming out of a pod. It was as though the anxiety of surgery had kept him from being able to relax, even in stasis. He pushed past the grogginess and forced his feet to stumble forward. He purposefully avoided Hunk’s outstretched arms and chose to put his weight onto his right leg. The collapse was immediate and, because he had turned away from all of them, nobody caught him in time.</p><p>Hitting the floor didn’t hurt as much as the betrayal of his healed leg. He was sprawled out on the cold floor reminding himself to breathe and he clenched and unclenched his right fist just to reassure himself that he could. The fingers on his left hand twitched uselessly. </p><p>“Lance,” Coran was at his side, “it is going to take time. Remember what I said about strengthening the muscles again?”</p><p>Lance remembered. So he hadn’t expected to be able to jump around, but <em>standing</em>? He needed to be able to do that at least.</p><p>“I want to stand on my own,” Lance gasped out. He squeezed his eyes shut, realizing they had begun to water. Could he not exit a pod without <em>crying</em>?</p><p>“I know,” Coran whispered softly. Gentle fingers carded through his hair. “Soon, I promise.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not sure how quick the next update will be because I got a new job! So it's awesome, but I also am going to be pretty busy. Anyway, thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter! I got an amazing response and I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the fic. Sorry it took so long. I'm enjoying my new job, but it does take up a lot of my time now. As it is, I only got this chapter posted because I called in sick to my second job. ANYWAY. Please excuse mistakes. I was editing late last night and I wanted to get this posted before the weekend was over.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hunk had been waiting.</p>
<p>Instead of sleeping, he stared at the ceiling. He kept taking in large breaths and holding them for long counts of four before letting them out in a rush. His loud breathing seemed to fill the room and he quieted himself, so not to wake Pidge. She had stolen the blankets again and insisted on turning sideways, taking up all the room on the floor. Hunk was becoming wedged against the side of Lance’s bed.</p>
<p>This was Lance's first night out of the pod. The lights were only dimmed slightly and, though he was used to sleeping with the lights on, Hunk could not sleep. Lance had been quiet all day. He had nodded when Coran talked with him about stretching exercises and Lance had smiled when Hunk presented him with a light vegetable soup for dinner. Lance <em>seemed </em>okay. Much better after his initial breakdown upon exiting the pod.</p>
<p>But, still, Hunk waited.</p>
<p>He recited the periodic table in his head and counted backwards from a thousand.</p>
<p>Then he heard it.</p>
<p>Lance’s breathing was different.</p>
<p>Hunk held his breath.</p>
<p>A soft keen, a barely there whimper.</p>
<p>Hunk shot up from his makeshift bed and slapped his palms on Lance’s mattress.</p>
<p>“Lance, it’s okay!” Hunk checked his volume. “Lance,” calmer, better, “you’re alright. You’re safe.”</p>
<p>If he could just get Lance to realize he was safe, before he woke up shouting... Just once. That was all Hunk wanted.</p>
<p>Lance jerked suddenly, the sleep paralysis finally lifting enough for him to control his limbs once more. Lance pulled his left arm to his chest and cried out.</p>
<p>“Help!” Lance’s voice broke.</p>
<p>
  <em>Just once.</em>
</p>
<p>“You’re fine. You’re fine,” Hunk coaxed, holding out his hands, wordlessly asking if Lance was okay with being touched. Lance leaned sideways and Hunk caught him in an one armed embrace. He sighed, relieved that Lance knew where he was and could seek comfort. Usually, the nightmares and sleep paralysis caused Lance to be averse to being touched. This was a small victory.</p>
<p>Hunk patted Lance’s shoulder and murmured soft reassurances while Lance breathed.</p>
<p>“He’s letting you hug him?” Pidge whispered loudly. She sounded only half awake, but very relieved. Lance leaned away at her voice, hastily rubbing any stray tears from his eyes.</p>
<p>“Sorry," Lance mumbled.</p>
<p>“You’re fine." Hunk fussed with the blanket. "I'm sorry that you keep going through that.”</p>
<p>Lance sighed. He was so tired and his friends… they cared so much. He looked up to see Hunk studying him closely, waiting.</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I can sleep again,” Lance admitted.</p>
<p>“Blanket fort?” Pidge stood, raising a blanket and pillow above her head. Despite his still watering eyes, Lance smiled.</p>
<p>“Blanket fort,” he agreed.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Pidge threw the pillow at Hunk’s head and let out a slightly evil sounding laugh.</p>
<p>They quickly got to work, though Hunk and Pidge did the majority of the blanket and pillow arranging. They were able to create a sort of tent on the side of Lance’s bed, enclosing his sleeping space in soft walls. However, once the walls were fully constructed, their floor was lacking in comfort.</p>
<p>“Be right back,” Pidge darted from the room, leaving Lance and Hunk to finish arranging the pillows.</p>
<p>“Is it too enclosed?” Hunk suddenly asked. “I can take down a wall.”</p>
<p>Lance shook his head. Their fort was warm and soft and nothing like a dark hole in the ground. Lance took a breath and pushed that imagery away.</p>
<p>“No, it’s good. I like it.”</p>
<p>Pidge returned with a huge grin on her face. She was carrying an armload of blankets and a few small pillows.</p>
<p>“Have you been hoarding blankets in your room?” Lance raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Nah,” Pidge dropped all the bedding on the floor. “Keith does. They’re from his hideout in the wall.”</p>
<p>Hunk and Lance stared.</p>
<p>“That’s an <em>actual </em>thing?” Hunk gaped. “I thought that was a joke.”</p>
<p>“Nope, it’s real. You’ll never find it, don’t worry about it.” Pidge began spreading blankets around on the floor.</p>
<p>“Won’t he be… mad?” Lance asked. Normally, it would be funny, but lately, Lance knew Keith had been having some problems and Lance still hadn’t had any kind of conversation with the guy. He didn’t want to <em>add </em>to his stress. He and Keith argued, but he didn’t actually want to be an outright jerk.</p>
<p>“Nope, I can take any blankets I want as long as I keep the location of the hideout a secret. We have a deal. Plus, he’s got, like, a hundred more blankets in there.”</p>
<p>“Well, okay.” Hunk shrugged. “As long as he isn’t going to be mad.”</p>
<p>They spent the next hour arranging and rearranging blankets just right, until the maximum comfort level was reached. Lance slowly stopped cradling his arm to his chest and he laughed a <em>real </em>laugh when Pidge fell off the tower of pillows they had created. Pidge then pulled out her laptop and declared it was all night movie time, since they weren’t sleeping.</p>
<p>Before he knew it, Lance was on the floor, swathed in blankets and wedged between his two friends. He breathed and he waited. Carefully, he wiggled his fingers. It was difficult, but he could feel the fabric under his fingertips and the pressure when he tapped his fingers against each other. This was okay. He was okay.</p>
<p>Hunk leaned into his side and smiled at him.</p>
<p>“You alright?” He whispered. Lance nodded. At this moment, with his friends, he knew he was safe.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance could shoot. It was a small victory.</p>
<p>He couldn’t aim as well with his fingers on his left hand refusing to grip the barrel, but he could fire at a target.</p>
<p>It was the first proof that he wasn’t useless. Nevermind the fact that Hunk was steadying him, keeping him from falling on the floor like a mess.</p>
<p>He could shoot, so he could fight.</p>
<p>Lance had been stuck doing stretches and hand exercises for days. He still wore a light brace on his right leg and left arm, but it was only for a little extra support. He was able to move his foot and he could almost walk on his own. His fingers on his left hand were another story. He could feel them. He could make a loose fist. But any fine motor skills took a great deal of effort. He was grateful he hadn’t been left handed.</p>
<p>Shiro and Coran both agreed he could do light training. When they handed him his bayard he was overcome with relief. Finally.</p>
<p>If he’d had his bayard before… if he’d taken it with him to the lake… he would have been safe.</p>
<p>Lance’s shot went wide.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Hunk shifted beside him, adjusting his grip on Lance’s sides.</p>
<p>“You got to aim me the right way, Hunk,” Lance grinned and he didn’t miss how his friend looked so relieved at Lance’s light tone. Right. Because he had been worrying them, bringing them down with his injury.</p>
<p>He needed to be better.</p>
<p>“Here, just hold onto me elbow. I won’t fall.” Lance jutted out his arm. Hunk hesitated only a moment before letting go of Lance’s sides and taking his friend’s elbow instead. Lance felt his leg taking his weight. There was pain in his calf, the muscles complained, but he ignored it all and he did not fall.</p>
<p>Lance aimed his bayard, took a shot. Bullseye.</p>
<p>“Nice!” Hunk cheered.</p>
<p>He could feel his leg trembling from exertion.</p>
<p>“Yep,” Lance smiled.</p>
<p>He would be better.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance had been avoiding Blue. Well, it was a long walk to the Lions’ hangar and he hadn’t wanted to ask anyone to assist him over there. So it wasn’t like he meant to avoid his lion.</p>
<p>Shiro had tentatively been talking about doing training runs in the lions. Lance knew he had enough strength to pilot. He knew it. But Coran had set a reasonable qualifying goal for him. Lance had to do five pushups before he was cleared to pilot Blue. That would have been nothing before his injury, but now he had been working on strengthening and stretching for weeks and he could push himself off the floor and hold himself up. Anything beyond that sent tremors up his arm and led to crashing back to the floor.</p>
<p>It was embarrassing and he wanted to do more exercises to regain strength, but Shiro and Coran always stopped him from overexerting himself. So he started training in his room when nobody was around. He would say he was going to rest and then he would do pushups off the wall for an hour. It’s not like he could sleep anyway. The only time he could sleep now was when he eventually passed out after watching several movies in the blanket fort, close to his friends. Hunk could detect his nightmares and his distress most nights. It meant he was no longer lost in the abyss for so long. Thankfully, he had been able to recognize his friends when coming out of sleep paralysis. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than it had been.</p>
<p>Progress.</p>
<p>Coran kept reminding him he was making progress. But as his arm and leg complained from overuse, he knew it wasn’t good enough.</p>
<p>He didn’t limp his way to Blue’s hangar. He might have stumbled a bit though. Gravity in space was weird, he was sure of it.</p>
<p>He was so focused on breathing and ignoring the pain radiating from his calf, that he didn’t realize he wasn’t alone in the Lion’s hangar.</p>
<p>Soft words ended abruptly and he blinked, his brain catching up to the situation.</p>
<p>“Lance?” Allura. Allura was staring at him, looking wide eyed and worried and… guilty?</p>
<p>“Allura?” Lance stood up straight. “What’s uh- what’s going- Are you? I mean- Why are you here?” Lance forced himself not to draw his arm close to his chest. He was startled, not scared. Awkward, but safe. Right. His hand landed on his hip instead. Casual.</p>
<p>“I was talking to Blue.” Allura smiled and turned toward the Lion, giving Lance time to compose himself without her staring.</p>
<p>“To Blue?” Lance approached her side.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Allura fidgeted with her dress. “Back then, well, when you were missing,” Allura spoke slowly and her eyes darted to Lance, checking to see if he was alright with the topic. Lance was sure to keep his arm down, but his fingers dug into his hip. He could handle talking about it. He could do that at least.</p>
<p>
  <em>Safe. Safe.</em>
</p>
<p>“We needed Blue to cool the ground, we didn’t know if we could get her to do it, but, when I asked, when I explained what had happened,” Allura motioned to the lion and then to Lance, “she responded. She responded to me.” Allura took in a deep breath and that’s when Lance understood the guilt.</p>
<p>Blue was his lion. But he hadn’t been much of a paladin lately.</p>
<p>“She let you pilot her?” Lance raised an eyebrow. Allura fidgeted again, but then she nodded and turned to face Lance head on.</p>
<p>“Not exactly. I was more of a passenger, but I could sense her and I could communicate with her.”</p>
<p>“Allura, that’s great.” Lance smiled. “I’m glad, I mean, you both saved me, and she responded to you. That’s great.” He felt like he was talking too loud. Why was he nearly shouting in her face? “Blue’s amazing, right?” Lance was okay with it. He had been working so hard to become stronger, so worried that they would need Voltron and he would let them down, but he didn’t need to worry.</p>
<p>“Blue is amazing, yes.”</p>
<p>Allura could pilot. Allura could do it. This was fine. He had been worried about not being a paladin anymore, but this was… this was…</p>
<p>He really wasn’t needed.</p>
<p>The thought sent something sharp and painful through his heart.</p>
<p>“Lance,” Allura’s voice, so soft now. Concerned for him because his face had crumpled, despite his best efforts. Lance felt pressure as he clutched his arm against his chest. It hurt. It was too much pressure, he was squeezing his arm too hard and he couldn’t stop.</p>
<p>He felt tears spring to his eyes and he couldn’t stop those either. Allura was repeating his name, reaching slowly toward him, she was offering to get Coran or Shiro or Hunk. Lance shook his head roughly.</p>
<p>“I’m fine. I gotta go.” Lance turned too quickly and one muscle pulled wrong and his stupid foot didn’t pivot and he fell to his knees.</p>
<p>“Lance!” She was at his side then, hands hovering close. He flinched away.</p>
<p>“Don’t.” He took in a shaky breath. He didn’t want to freak out in front of her. This was <em>Allura</em>. Princess and friend and the focus of his admiration. He knew she had seen him crying at least twice since this whole thing started, but she had never been this close. This was pathetic, this was humiliating…</p>
<p>“Forgive me,” Allura spoke quickly, before she wrapped her arms around him. Lance didn’t have time to pull back before, what he thought was an embrace, changed into a bridal carry and he was lifted off the floor.</p>
<p>Panicked and mortified, he tried to gasp out a protest, but his air got stuck in his lungs and he couldn’t even manage the softest protest.</p>
<p>He was so focused on breathing that he didn’t realize where she was taking him. She only took a few steps before she was setting him down again on warm, familiar, metal flooring.</p>
<p>Something besides panic and pain flooded his senses. Solace, concern and love.</p>
<p>Lance breathed in.</p>
<p>
  <em>Safe. Safe. Safe. </em>
</p>
<p>Lance breathed out.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes, you are safe and good. Safe and good.</em>
</p>
<p>“Blue,” Lance whispered under his breath. He leaned back and pressed his cheek to the floor. He could feel a gentle thrumming, like purring and he felt that same fondness working through him.</p>
<p>Blue cared so much.</p>
<p>No sooner had the thought crossed his mind when he sensed her laughing at him. Amused because it should have been obvious how much she cared. Lance glanced up at Allura, who was kneeling beside him and staring so intently.</p>
<p>
  <em>How much they all care. </em>
</p>
<p>“I’m alright,” Lance finally murmured. Allura smiled softly at him.</p>
<p>“You can stay as long as you need to.” She sat back, bringing her knees to her chest, content to sit with him. Lance let his eyes fall shut.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Lance whispered. Allura hummed softly and Blue purred, her warmth encompassing him again.</p>
<p>Lance stayed there for a long time.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance stared at the skin on his arm. It was perfect. No marks remained, no indent from missing tissue. He brushed his foot along the back of his right leg. It was fine. Perfectly normal, as if nothing had happened.</p>
<p>Lance noticed Coran was staring at him and he realized the Altean must have asked him a question.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Coran. What did you say?” Lance carefully let his hands slip into his lap.</p>
<p>“I said, soon you’ll be able to go without the braces all the time. What do you think of that?”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Lance tried not to stare at perfect, unmarked skin. He used to have a very small mole on that forearm. “Great.” Lance forced his lips to turn up into a smile. Really he just wanted this latest assessment to be over with. He didn’t like having to come to the examination room every few days to check in. He felt antsy and detached at the same time.</p>
<p>He wanted to pinch the skin on his arm.</p>
<p>"Is it causing you pain?"</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p>
<p>"No, it's good. I'm fine." Lance forced himself to meet Coran's eyes and smile. "I feel fine."</p>
<p>But Coran was studying him with a raised eyebrow and Lance couldn't take it anymore.</p>
<p>"Are we good here? I've gotta go meet Hunk in the kitchen."</p>
<p>"Yes, but tell me if your arm begins to bother you. We can modify your routine."</p>
<p>No. No more modifications. Lance was already struggling to regain strength, he needed to push more, not less.</p>
<p>"I'm fine." Lance hopped off the table and gave a casual wave on his way out, avoiding Coran's curious gaze.</p>
<p>He didn't give Coran a chance to speak again and he was sure to walk steadily to the kitchen, ignoring the muscles protesting in his leg.</p>
<p>He could ignore the pain.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance had been happy when Coran and Shiro cleared him for a ground mission, though he couldn't quite look Coran in the eye. He had been making so much progress and sure it hurt a bit, but he wasn’t getting left behind. It didn't matter how many questioning looks Coran gave him and it really didn’t matter how much he hurt.</p>
<p>I'm fine. No, I'm not in pain. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.</p>
<p>"You okay?" Came the hushed voice beside him.</p>
<p>Lance had been gripping his arm without thinking. If not for the armor he was wearing he would have left fingernail prints in the too smooth skin.</p>
<p>Lance let both his arms fall to his sides and he flashed a quick smile at Hunk.</p>
<p>“Yep. I’m good.”</p>
<p>Hunk narrowed his eyes slightly, but Lance just waved him off.</p>
<p>“I’m good. Let’s do this thing.” Lance moved from behind the tree he was leaning against. The goal of this mission was just reconnaissance at an old Galra outpost. Lance and Hunk were exploring an old town located near the main Galran structure. Originally, the town had belonged to the people of the planet, but whoever they were, they were long gone. All the buildings were beginning to fall into decay and it was everything Lance thought a ghost town might be; broken windows, creaking floorboards and caved in roofs.</p>
<p>Hunk was hovering too close, practically breathing down Lance’s neck. Lance loved his friends and he knew Hunk was only doing it out of concern, but Lance had proved himself capable.</p>
<p>“You check that one, I’ll check this one.” Lance motioned to the two story building on his right. “We can get this over with faster if we split up,” he reasoned. Hunk was going to argue, so Lance did not give him the chance. He walked assuredly, boots clunking steadily against the creaking floorboards.</p>
<p>Hunk didn’t follow.</p>
<p>Once Lance was inside the building, he breathed a deep sigh and stretched his left arm over his head. He thought he felt the beginning of a cramp in his calf, so he stretched that out too. He ached. And it frustrated him, but as long as he was careful, he could get by. The others didn’t need to know.</p>
<p>He had just begun to step forward, continuing further into the structure when he heard the strangest noise over the comm. It sounded like… a cough?</p>
<p>He was about to ask for clarification when the comm buzzed to life again. Shiro’s voice cut through the silence.</p>
<p>“Everyone, get down!”</p>
<p>Before Lance had time to register it, the world broke apart around him.</p>
<p>The immediate explosion knocked out his hearing and sent the ground caving in at his feet.</p>
<p>Lance had enough time to realize he was falling into darkness before he lost consciousness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm hoping to get the next and final chapter of this posted before Halloween. I like being able to do Halloween fics, but I'm not sure if it will happen this year. Thank you for reading! Please do comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this took a lot longer than anticipated. For so many reasons. I hurt my back a while ago and haven't physically been able to sit and write for very long. Right now, it's complaining so I should stop writing and get this posted. Please enjoy the last chapter and ignore mistakes, thank you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dark.</p>
<p>It was dark.</p>
<p>Lance forced a shuddering breath from his chest. He gasped; his inhale much too short to do any real good.</p>
<p>
  <em>I can breathe. I can breathe.</em>
</p>
<p>He tried to imagine he was back on the castleship. Back in their ridiculous blanket fort, surrounded by his friends. The pressure on his right side was like Hunk, leaning against him and telling him it was okay.</p>
<p>That he was safe.</p>
<p>But it was dark.</p>
<p>And they always had some light on now. Whether it was the flickering from Pidge's laptop or the room lighting filtering through the blankets. Lance was never in the dark anymore.</p>
<p>His head began to throb and, though it made him wince, it reminded him that he wasn't numb. He wasn't paralyzed. He could breathe, he could move. Lance dragged his arms over debris and pulled them to his chest. Safe.</p>
<p>It was dark, but he could see a little. Enough to know that the building he had been exploring must have had a basement of some kind. He had fallen through to the underground floor. Alright, it wasn’t so bad. He could turn his head, though it hurt, and he could move his legs. Lance bent his knees, dragging his legs up… at least he thought he did. He meant to. Something. Something wasn't right. With a grunt he tried to sit up, to assess the situation, but every nerve in his body caught up to his consciousness. The pain was sharp, urgent and debilitating.</p>
<p>Lance gasped as he fell backwards, his helmet knocking into broken wood.</p>
<p>He didn't have enough air to scream, but he let out a strangled groan.</p>
<p>Something was wrong with his legs. They flared with pain from his toes to his thighs and he could not move them.</p>
<p>"Shit," Lance choked into the darkness. "I can't-"</p>
<p>Before, he had been sickenly grateful that he couldn't feel his limbs being eaten away. But now he wondered if it would have felt something like this.</p>
<p>There was pain and it was too dark and was he so sure that he wasn't back in that tunnel? A buzzing filled his head. Perhaps his healing wasn't real, maybe he was still back there and he was going to die.</p>
<p>Lance felt tears stinging his eyes.</p>
<p>
  <em>Find me, please. Find me. Please. I can't do this again.</em>
</p>
<p>"Lance, you there?" The buzzing turned into cracking words. Lance breathed out, his response only a loud exhale.</p>
<p>"Hang on, okay?" Shiro. It was Shiro's voice breaking through the comms. He sounded worried. "I'm so sorry. There were explosives rigged to go off all over the town. Pidge thinks the Galra left it for the original inhabitants, but they've all gone… I'm sorry, someone is going to get you out."</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes. Please. Help.</em>
</p>
<p>Lance took in several rapid breaths. "Okay," he finally managed.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shiro sounded so relieved. "Just hold on, we-"</p>
<p>The signal went to static and then silence. Lance licked his lips. "Sh-Shiro?"</p>
<p>No response.</p>
<p>Alright. Technical difficulties. But he could hold on. He knew His team was out there, that they were looking for him. He just needed to focus on that. And not on the dark, or the pain or the way his legs wouldn't move.</p>
<p>
  <em>You're not safe. But you're going to be okay. You're not safe, but you're a paladin of Voltron. You're not safe, but your team is coming from you. You're not safe-</em>
</p>
<p>Lance shuddered as warm tears slipped from the corner of his eyes. There was the sound of debris shifting.</p>
<p>
  <em>Not safe-</em>
</p>
<p>Something moved in the dark.</p>
<p>Lance screamed.</p>
<p>The answering shout was enough to startle him into silence again.</p>
<p>A soft red glow. The dark wasn't as deep as before.</p>
<p>"Keith?" Lance gasped out. He was answered by harsh breathing. Keith sounded like he was choking.</p>
<p>"Keith?" Lance blinked hard, finding Keith's outline in the dim light from their paladin armor. He tried to distinguish Keith's face from the darkness.</p>
<p>There was a shifting of debris. Keith must have moved something because more soft light filtered down, illuminating the small space.</p>
<p>Keith sat back in the dirt and pressed his head to his knees.</p>
<p>The choking sound continued.</p>
<p>Keith was freaking out.</p>
<p>"Oh." Lance swallowed hard, pulling himself together. There was light and he wasn't alone. He was hurting, but Keith must have been too, in a way. "Hey, Keith. Hey, man." Lance ignored the stabbing pain in his calf. "We gotta keep it together, yeah?"</p>
<p>Lance smashed down his own panic.</p>
<p>"Keith." Lance stretched out his arm, ignoring the way it ached and protested. He tapped Keith's boot. "I'm sorry." Lance swallowed. "Sorry, I scared you."</p>
<p>Keith was pressing his palms into his helmet, looking like he would be pulling on his hair if he could reach it. He finally huffed out a loud breath.</p>
<p>"Not scared of you," Keith bit out.</p>
<p>"You seemed scared."</p>
<p>"Not of you." Keith motioned vaguely to their surroundings. The dark and the small space. To Lance, unable to move in the dirt. "It was just… like before." Keith took in a breath. "I'm okay."</p>
<p>Lance nodded. The underground storage of a collapsed building wasn't the best place for a talk. Especially, when Lance still felt the vestiges of panic pulling at his thoughts.</p>
<p>"I think we might be kind of messed up, but that's okay, y'know?" Lance tapped Keith's boot again. "Let's get out of here."</p>
<p>Keith nodded. With shaking hands he began to dig in the rubble. Loosening the debris around Lance's legs. He stopped several times, gasping hard for air.</p>
<p>Lance tried to drown out the sound, feeling his own breathing getting shorter, frantic. Lance pulled his left arm close to his chest.</p>
<p>They weren't safe, but they would be okay. They would be…</p>
<p>Keith gagged.</p>
<p>"Oh, don't," Lance choked, feeling his own panic sending his stomach reeling. "Keith. Breathe," Lance forced out through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>Keith sat back in the rubble and pressed his head against his knees.</p>
<p>There was ragged breathing from both of them for several minutes.</p>
<p>"Your legs are stuck." Keith finally managed weakly. "Last time, it was dark. I had to pull those things off of you. And.." Keith swallowed. "Sorry."</p>
<p>Lance felt sick, but there was some part of him that wanted to know. He didn't remember much after passing out and if it would help Keith feel better...</p>
<p>Lance swallowed. "Just say it. You pulled them off me and what?" He prompted.</p>
<p>Keith only hesitated a moment. "The larvae were dying because they were freezing. But some of them were still alive and my fingers kept slipping. There was ice and mud and I kept kicking them away, but you were bleeding so much." Keith sucked in a deep breath. "I thought you were dead."</p>
<p>Lance shut his eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry." Because what else could he say? He'd traumatized Keith.</p>
<p>But Keith shook his head.</p>
<p>"Not your fault." Keith slowly moved back towards Lance's legs. Lance felt something shift against his knee and he bit his lip to keep from crying out.</p>
<p>"This beam is too heavy to move. I'm trying to dig you out though." Keith was scrabbling to move bits of debris from around and under Lance's legs. Carefully, Lance tried to move. If he could help, then maybe this would go faster. Sitting up proved difficult as his arm complained and his head swam a bit.</p>
<p>"Don't," Keith instructed. "I can do it." He took in a deep breath. "I can-my hands just keep shaking and it's stupid, but I thought I heard them."</p>
<p>Lance eased himself back down.</p>
<p>"I've heard them too. It's not stupid," he whispered.</p>
<p>They both stopped moving. Breathing slowly, they both listened. It was quiet in the dark, but if they waited, they could hear it. A soft clicking.</p>
<p>
  <em>Click, click, click. </em>
</p>
<p>Probably just the rubble settling. Probably.</p>
<p>Keith's breathing had become erratic again. Lance did his best not to match it.</p>
<p>"You gotta breathe, man," Lance forced out. What would Hunk say? Those times Lance woke up from nightmares and his friend was always there…</p>
<p>"It's okay. You're okay." Lance wished he could say they were safe, but he was currently pinned under a beam after the ground had exploded from under him.They were still caught up in a war.</p>
<p>Feeling safe had to be created in the moments between peril. They were probably never safe. Not really.</p>
<p>"We're going to be okay," Lance insisted into the darkness. Keith pulled in a breath and slowly let it go.</p>
<p>Soon, Keith's breathing had evened out and Lance matched the sound. Their quiet breaths filled the darkness and everything else faded away.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Are you guys okay or what?" </em>
</p>
<p>Lance and Keith both jumped at the sudden shout.</p>
<p>Keith recovered first.</p>
<p>“We’re fine.” If Lance hadn’t known how much Keith had been struggling a few moments ago, he would have missed the strain in his voice. Keith turned his focus to Lance. “We’re fine,” he repeated, quieter, almost unsure.</p>
<p>Lance nodded.</p>
<p>Pidge came scrambling down. “Shiro’s got Hunk out of the rubble, so we just need- You’re not fine! You’re stuck!”</p>
<p>“Except for that.” Lance tried to force a grin, but Pidge huffed.</p>
<p>“You two, honestly. If you’re not fine, just say so.” Pidge set a hand on Keith's elbow and pushed him out of the way. He moved over, but her hand remained where it was, grounding and still.</p>
<p>“You’re right.” Keith mumbled, sounding like he had heard this before.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Pidge.” Lance mumbled, because he definitely had heard this before.</p>
<p>“Don't apologize." Pidge assessed the situation. "Keith, can you help me or do we need to get Shiro?"</p>
<p>Keith went quiet, but Pidge waited for his response.</p>
<p>"No," Keith finally cleared his throat, "I can do it."</p>
<p>They went to work, carefully digging around Lance's legs and stopping when they thought something might shift out of place.</p>
<p>"Do your legs hurt?" Pidge asked as she tossed a rock to the side.</p>
<p>Lance had been trying not to think about it. With his teammates close by, he was focusing on breathing and waiting. He was clenching and unclenching his fists just to remind himself that he could.</p>
<p>"Lance?"</p>
<p>"They don't," Lance whispered. Even to his own ears, his voice sounded hollow. Probably because it was a lie. And, despite the practice he'd had lately, he wasn’t that good at lying. Not when he was stuck and in pain and not when his friends were trying so hard to help him.</p>
<p>"Sorry," Lance muttered without realizing.</p>
<p>"For what now?" Pidge grumbled. She had her answer as she tugged at Lance's knee to free it and he cried out. Pidge jumped, her fingers fled away from the leg.</p>
<p>"Lance!" Startled. Then, "Lance." Accusing. "You <em>are </em>hurt."</p>
<p>Lance wanted to laugh bitterly. He'd been hurt for a long time now.</p>
<p>Lance cried instead.</p>
<p>"I'm s-sorry."</p>
<p>"No, stop apologizing." Pidge set her hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to yell." She leaned over him until her helmet tapped gently against his. "I'm sorry, I'm not as good as Hunk at this. But you need to say something if you’re injured."</p>
<p>Lance would have nodded if his head wasn’t being kept in place by Pidge’s helmet.</p>
<p>"Keith," Pidge reached back and set a hand on his elbow again. "Go get Shiro after all. We're going to have to carry him."</p>
<p>Lance wanted to protest through his tears, but Pidge had turned away and was talking again.</p>
<p>"It's okay, I know you would carry him out if you needed to, but you have all of us to help." Pidge turned back to Lance. "We're not alone."</p>
<p>Keith moved away, his breathing seemed steady and Lance hoped he would be alright. Lance matched Pidge's slower breathing as she held his hand to his chest gently.</p>
<p>"Talk to me?" She whispered in the dim light. "Please?"</p>
<p>Lance took a deep breath.</p>
<p>"It hurts."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance was staring hard at the ceiling of the infirmary.</p>
<p>"You want me to stay?" Hunk asked quietly. Lance released a deep breath and shook his head.</p>
<p>Everyone else had been looked over already. Hunk had gotten a knock on the head and some new bruises, but nothing too serious. Shiro, Keith, and Pidge had been farther from any explosions and, besides being shaken up, they were fine. That just left Lance, stretched out on an exam table with his legs propped up on a cushion. The armor plating had been removed, leaving him in the thin black under suit.</p>
<p>"You sure?" Hunk whispered. Lance sighed. He felt awful. Truly terrible. While Hunk had seen him cry plenty of times, he just didn't want an audience to his emotions right now.</p>
<p>"I'm sure."</p>
<p>The warm hand left his shoulder and soon it was just him and Coran who was humming softly at his computer.</p>
<p>Earlier, Lance had seen Pidge talking to Coran quietly. He'd heard his name whispered between them.</p>
<p>Lance sighed again.</p>
<p>Coran gave a few final taps on his computer before he clapped his hands.</p>
<p>"Right!" The man's voice was too loud in the quiet room. "Nothing broken!" He declared. "But that's not what we are too concerned about." Coran bustled over to Lance's side. "Can you try sitting up? There you are."</p>
<p>With assistance, Lance managed to push himself into a sitting position.</p>
<p>"Easier for you to see this way," Coran remarked. Because he was always concerned about Lance feeling comfortable, safe.</p>
<p>Gentle fingers prodded at his calf. Lance winced, not bothering to hide it now.</p>
<p>"You've strained your muscles here," Coran motioned to Lance's arm, "in the arm too."</p>
<p>Lance wanted to say something, but the words got stuck, he swallowed them down, trying to clear his throat.</p>
<p>"Lance, look here, my boy. I have two things to say and then we will move forward. Alright?"</p>
<p>Lance nodded.</p>
<p>"First, I am sorry."</p>
<p>"What?” Lance shook his head. “You don't have anything-"</p>
<p>"Let me finish.” Coran held up his hand. “I suspected you were secretly training more than what I suggested for you. And I should have stopped it. You could have really injured yourself and we cannot spend much more time on surgeries for you. I wish things were different, but we do not have time on our side.” Coran’s mouth twitched. “I can try my best, but I cannot keep you safe."</p>
<p>"Coran-"</p>
<p>"Wait another tick. Secondly, and this is so important, do you know how much you are cared for?"</p>
<p>Lance stared, feeling something well up in his chest.</p>
<p>"Your team cares about you and I know you have a family that loves you. Across this universe, you are loved. Do you know that?"</p>
<p>Lance nodded. He blinked back tears, but he nodded.</p>
<p>"You do not need to push yourself so hard. Just as you wouldn’t think less of any of us if we were injured, we don’t think less of you. You do not have to worry about letting anyone down. You are well-loved.” Coran squeezed his shoulder. “Now, if I ask you to promise to tell someone if you are in pain, will you?"</p>
<p>Lance hesitated. He hated that he couldn’t give an answer right away, but he didn’t want to lie to Coran, he didn’t want to make a promise he might break. Lance slowly nodded again.</p>
<p>"Good." Coran’s hand fell away from Lance’s shoulder. "Now what did you want to say?"</p>
<p>Lance took a deep breath and he met Coran’s eyes.</p>
<p>"I am sorry. I'm sorry I lied about being in pain. It was stupid. I just- I just- I'm so stupid and I'm so, so sorry." His eyes, flooded with tears, looked away.</p>
<p>Gentle arms carefully wrapped around him. "You are not stupid." Came the whisper in his ear. "You are young and you are facing a very big universe. Things are not going to be perfect. I was never upset with you to begin with, so don't apologize.”</p>
<p>For several long moments, Coran patted his back and hummed gently as Lance quietly soaked his shoulder in tears. With shuddering breaths, Lance felt the heaviness in his chest dissipate.</p>
<p>
  <em>Well-loved. </em>
</p>
<p>Lance looked up.</p>
<p>"Better?" Coran asked with a soft smile.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Lance answered. Coran patted his shoulders.</p>
<p>"Now we move forward."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lance was wedged between Hunk and Pidge in their blanket fort. He was keeping his legs slightly elevated on some pillows while Hunk rotated his cold packs on his legs. The injuries to his legs weren’t bad, mostly strained and bruised, but he was going to be sore for a few days. Pidge was just about to put on a movie for a distraction when the door slid open, startling all of them.</p>
<p>Pidge popped her head out of the fort first.</p>
<p>"Keith?" The surprise was evident in her voice, but then she lowered her tone making it hard for Lance to hear her. "Did you have a nightmare?"</p>
<p>Lance heard Keith's quick breathing. Like when they were down in the debris and Keith couldn't stop shaking.</p>
<p>"Is it- is it okay?" Keith asked in a hushed voice.</p>
<p>"Yeah! Of course!" Pidge ducked back into the tent. "Keith can stay, right?"</p>
<p>Hunk and Lance both nodded; Hunk was already moving things around to make room. They were pretty wedged in though.</p>
<p>"You want to take the mattress?" Hunk asked as Keith lifted a blanket to create an opening.</p>
<p>"You guys aren’t using it?" Keith asked, already sounding steadier. Hunk shrugged.</p>
<p>"Sometimes we do, if Pidge steals all the blankets she gets banished from the floor space,” Lance grinned.</p>
<p>"Did you take my blankets?" Keith held up one fluffy comforter.</p>
<p>"I didn't think you would mind." Pidge smiled sheepishly.</p>
<p>"It's fine." Keith shrugged as he sat down on the mattress. He studied the quilt that had been placed on the bed. He buried his fingers in the soft fabric and hummed.</p>
<p>"Right? It's nicer than your nest in the vents, right?" Pidge's smile faltered. "Which is a secret and I didn't tell them where it was. Promise."</p>
<p>"I thought it was in the wall? Is it in the vents?" Lance carefully sat up.</p>
<p>"There is no secret Keith hideaway in the walls or vents," Pidge waved her hands in the air as if she was brushing the forbidden knowledge away. "Lay down." Pidge tapped Lance's forehead. "You're supposed to be resting. I'm starting the movie."</p>
<p>After some rearranging, they all managed to have some kind of view of Pidge's laptop and she hit play.</p>
<p>Keith was curled up on Lance's bed, separate from the others, but close enough that they could hear his even breathing. Nestled altogether, it was warm and comfortable.</p>
<p>Lance was beginning to drop off to sleep when Pidge shifted at his side.</p>
<p>"Feeling better?" She asked. Lance was about to reply when he was cut off.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Keith mumbled.</p>
<p>Lance took in a deep breath. Hunk removed an ice pack from his leg, commenting that he shouldn't keep it on too long. Pidge stole some of his blanket. Keith's breathing slowed.</p>
<p>It was peaceful in that moment. Warm and familiar and safe.</p>
<p>Lance breathed out.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"You're sure it's okay?"</p>
<p>"Hunk, it's okay."</p>
<p>"You're sure?"</p>
<p>"Hunk, I'm not scared of the beach."</p>
<p>His friend nodded, but looked anxious. They had just left the castleship and were making the short walk to the water and the dark green, sandy shores. They had found themselves with some free time and Coran had taken it upon himself to find the nicest, quietest beach in the galaxy. Nothing would harm them there, Coran had made sure of it.</p>
<p>"Are <em>you </em>scared?" Lance asked quietly.</p>
<p>"No, no," Hunk answered quickly. He glanced back at the rest of their team trailing behind them. "We're all together, so it's fine."</p>
<p>Coran caught up to them and swung his arm around Lance's shoulders.</p>
<p>"How are you feeling today, my boy?"</p>
<p>"Leg's a little sore." Lance shrugged. "It's not bad."</p>
<p>"Well, take it easy, don't run too much on the sand."</p>
<p>"Got it." Lance grinned.</p>
<p>They came up over the rise and the ocean stretched before them. Lance jerked from under Coran's arm and ran two steps before turning with a hop and a sheepish grin.</p>
<p>"<em>Some</em> running is ok, right?"</p>
<p>Coran threw his head back and laughed.</p>
<p>"Yes, just be careful."</p>
<p>"Awesome." Lance jumped in place, feeling the way his feet connected with loose sand. Both legs took his weight without complaint. "Hunk, let's go!"</p>
<p>"I'll keep an eye on him," Hunk remarked to Coran before he chased after Lance. Coran smiled and nodded. The truth of the matter was, Lance had improved greatly and would most likely be fine, but Hunk was nervous. Nervous about letting Lance get too far away. Hunk needed to be close to protect his friend.</p>
<p>The rest of the Paladins and Allura went racing past, laughing. Hunk was caught up in their laughter as they reached the waves. Coran grinned wider. They would be alright.</p>
<p>Lance dunked under the water quickly before resurfacing again. He had felt a twinge of anxiety upon entering the water, considering what happened the last time he had gone swimming. This was different though. Pidge slammed into his side, trying to unsuccessfully knock him into the waves.</p>
<p>His friends were with him this time.</p>
<p>“Careful,” Hunk warned automatically, but Lance smiled and shoved Pidge’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m okay, promise.” Lance swayed as a gentle wave swelled around him. “Besides, Pidge is too little to actually knock me over.”</p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p>Lance laughed and jumped away. Pretty soon they were all playing in the waves, worry and pains forgotten in the moment.</p>
<p>The day wore on and, as Lance’s muscles grew tired, he stopped battling the waves and began collecting shells on the dark green shore. They had a large pile going, which Shiro and Keith were sorting through. Lance handed a shimmering white shell directly to Shiro.</p>
<p>“For your project,” Lance said with a smile. Shiro took the shell carefully between metal fingers.</p>
<p>Coran had gifted Shiro with clay and they had been spending time talking about old Altean pottery. Shiro had made several bowls and vases, which he set around the castle in various places. So many handmade decorations brought a sense of warmth to the ship. Currently, Shiro was planning on creating a large vase for Coran, which he had planned to decorate with shells. It was going to be a thank you present for providing him with the clay and support.</p>
<p>“This is nice, thanks Lance.”</p>
<p>Lance nodded. He was happy to help.</p>
<p>"You going back in?" Shiro motioned back to the waves.</p>
<p>Lance grinned wide. "Yeah, I was just resting a bit.”</p>
<p>Shiro nodded his approval.</p>
<p>“I’m done now though,” Lance declared. “Keith, I’ll race you!”</p>
<p>Keith rolled his eyes, but he was up on his feet in an instant.</p>
<p>Lance ran to the water and leapt into the waves once more. When he resurfaced, his friends were there, grinning, waiting for him. Hunk and Pidge had joined them, splashing and yelling and laughing.</p>
<p>Lance ran a hand over his left arm, felt the goosebumps forming on his smooth skin.</p>
<p>“You alright?” Keith asked quietly. Lance nodded and let his arm drop to the side.</p>
<p>It didn’t hurt.</p>
<p>They could never be prepared for everything. And with an ongoing war, they would find themselves in peril more often than not, but for now, for right now, he was safe. They were all safe.</p>
<p>With his friends by his side, Lance dove headfirst into the waves.</p>
<p>End.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This fic was supposed to be a lot shorter, but I just traumatized too many Paladins and I had to try to fix the damage. Thank you very much for your patience and support! Please do leave a comment! Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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